100th Post!

Amazed. Joyful. Grateful. In awe. Happy. Smiling. Hopeful. Pregnant...

I have not felt this way in so very long. I cannot stop smiling, I cannot believe this is my life. There were days I thought this might never happen, that I might never feel such sheer joy ever again. I never want this feeling to end.

I know it is early, I know anything can still happen, but I am committed to enjoying each & every day of this pregnancy. There are things that are beyond my control, but I can't obsess over them. This is further than I have ever been before and for today, that is enough.

This is my 100th post & so much has happened in the last year and a half. There were some dark and bitter moments along the way & some glimmers of hope too.

It is amazing how much your life can change in just one week with just one phone call...

I can't even comprehend how much I already love this little baby growing inside of me. Can you believe that at just 4 weeks and 6 days, just 20 short little days of life, there is another heart beating inside of my own? It astounds me every time I think about it. I love that my baby's heart began beating today - the day of my 100th post - such a milestone on this long and painful journey.

When I began blogging I never imagined how much lay ahead of me - how many stories would move me to joyful tears or heartbreaking sobs, how many women would inspire me and root for me, how I would care so deeply for so many families I have never even met, how many friends I would make a long the way, or how much pain & heart break was would come with every failed cycle and mostly, I never could have imagined how much joy was awaiting me on this journey.

I am humbled by this miracle growing inside of me. I hope and pray everyday that this baby is a fighter, that he or she will grow big & strong, that my body gives this baby what it needs to thrive, that this will finally be our happy ending...

I feel like a new person & I like this woman very much!