Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts

Monday, July 13, 2009

So much to say

I know, I know, I disappeared again and for a long time. I am so sorry! On an almost daily basis I think about something to blog about, but I never actually sit down to write. I want to, I really do!

We have been pretty busy this summer - weddings, parties, cookouts, traveling to Buffalo etc... We spent the holiday weekend in Buffalo celebrating our Goddaughters' birthday parties and attending a family reunion on my Dad's side. It was a great trip and a wonderful reminder of how much love and support is awaiting this baby. We received some adorable baby gifts. My mom bought some super cute sleepers and onesies and my aunt from Ireland knitted a beautiful blanket and hat. It was exciting to get our first gifts!!! My mom also won one of those small, Fl.ip video cameras at a golf tournament and she gave it to Sean as a Father's Day gift. It is so cool! It is an HD video camera that is the size of a digital camera. Perfect for posting cute videos of the baby! All in all, it was a wonderful weekend and reinforced to us that Buffalo is where we want to raise our family.

Our plan is still to move back home and we are thinking it might be a possibility in about a year or so, but it really depends on Sean's new job and whether or not they can work out way from him to telecommute. Now that my mom is awaiting the birth of her first (and possibly only) grandchild she is anxious for us to come home, or else she said she might have to move here! That would be incredible, but we ultimately want to be back in Buffalo with our entire family.

Speaking of the grandparents, my mom, step dad and Sean's parents have booked their flights to come down for Ralphie's birth!!! Even though it is still months down the line, my Christmas Eve due date really complicates travel arrangements. Sou.thwest had $49 flights and they book really fast due to the holiday, so when they saw available, cheap flights they booked them. They are all going to arrive on 12/23 - one day before my EDD. My in laws are planning to stay one week and my parents are staying two. There is really no way to predict if the baby will come early, late or right on time. We figured at least, they have their tickets and if I go early, they can always exchange them. If I go late, they are already here to celebrate the holiday and if I am right on time - even better! Driving really wasn't an option because Sean's mom hates traveling by car (the women has panic attacks in the car for 20mins, let alone 7 hours) and the weather in December is too unpredictable going through those mountains in PA. I wasn't crazy about my mom driving like a maniac trying to make it in time & running the risk of missing the birth all together if I went fast, they hit bad weather etc... I feel better knowing they have a plan!

In other baby news, Sean & I have started really thinking about our major baby purchases. We spent all day Saturday at Great Beginnings (rated as one of the best baby stores in the country by B.aby Bargains) near DC and it was so much fun. Overwhelming, but fun. The place is HUGE! The furniture showroom was incredible - they must have had 75 nursery sets on the floor. Every name brand and some hard to find ones too. We have narrowed our furniture choices down to two and hope to order in the next two weeks. The salespeople were incredible. They were truly experts in their field. Looking at car seats and strollers was like shopping for a new car - the salespeople were that knowledgeable about the products. Getting close to making a decision there to - I am thinking stroller frame and either the Gra.co Snugride or Chi.cco Keyfit. After seeing the installation demo in store, I am leaning more towards the keyfit at this point. Gender neutral bedding is proving to be difficult and I have a possibility in mind, but want to go look at fabric as well. We are going to register right after our big u/s in a few weeks!

My family has booked my shower for October 25th and it feels like that is going to be here before we know it! I feel like time is flying by now that I am in the 2nd tri and there is so much to do to get ready for this little one's arrival. I can't wait to start pulling it all together!

I am officially 16w4d pregnant and here is a recent rundown.

How am I feeling? Still vomiting. It is less frequent - only once a week or so now, but I wish it would stop for good. I feel like I have more energy, but can still sleep like a champ. I am finally off progesterone and estr.ace and am having massive mood swings. I am not sure if it has anything to do with being off the meds, or if it is just pregnancy, but it has hit me hard. I have been pretty even keeled up until the past few days and now my hormones are all over the place. Mad, sad, angry, happy, giddy...all in the span of a few minutes. Poor Sean!

How do I look? Pregnant. Perhaps I will post a belly pic in coming weeks. My family was surprised how much my belly had changed since Memorial day weekend. I don't feel like my body is changing anywhere else - just a round belly and bigger boobs.

Milestones? I *think* I may have felt movement a few days ago, but I cannot be sure. I was sound asleep and had been laying on my right side for about 6 hours straight. I was just stirring because I had to pee and roll over. As a rolled over to my left side, it felt like something did a huge somersault in my belly. My eyes flew wide open and my hand went right to my belly. I have never felt anything like it, but I haven't felt it since either, so I am really not sure. I am anxious to feel movement more frequently though!


What is Ralphie up to? Growing so big and strong! He or she is the size of an avocado - far cry from my little poppy seed - and weighs almost 4oz. He or she is urinating, has taste buds, is hiccuping, may be sucking its thumb and moving like crazy.

What am I craving? Potbelly Italian Sandwiches - YUM! Subway Veggie Subs.

Aversions? Chicken

What do I miss? Wine. A perfectly chilled glass of white wine on a hot summer's night. A rich pinot noir with a steak fresh off the grill.

What am I looking forward to? More movement, registering, ordering the furniture, and starting the nursery.

Weight gain? Officially, just 1lb. That is according to my OBs scale, but I did not have my first appt with them until 8w and between 4-8w I gained 3-4 lbs. So, unofficially, I am up closer to 5lbs, both me and my OB are fine with it.

What am I reading? What to Expect..., Your Preg. Week by Week, Bab.y Bargains, and Ina May's Guide to Chi.ldbirth.

Speaking of Ina May's book, although I like my OB practice, I am planning on touring a birthing center in the next few weeks. I have always wanted to experience natural childbirth and based on a few of the docs comments, I am not sure how supportive they would be. Additionally, Sean is concerned about how far my OB and the hospital is - almost in hour in no traffic and good weather. The birthing center and the hospital they are affiliated with are only 15 minutes away. I am planning a more detailed post on this topic in the future.

I think that wraps things up - sorry so long, this what happens when it has been 3 weeks since I last updated! Oh! One last thing, please stop by Meinsideout's blog and wish her HUGE congratulations! She is one of the biggest cheerleaders in the blogosphere and she has good news to share. She could also use thoughts, prayers and good vibes that this is her sticky miracle.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Finally, a new post!

I have probably sat down to write some version of this post 5 different times, but something always gets in the way. I have been tired (oh, so tired) and busy, but I am just up from a nap and find myself with a few hours before work. Heck, I even managed to make dinner tonight - it has been a very good day!

First, I want to wish every one of my readers a Happy Mother's Day. I know it is a tough day for many of us and for many different reasons. As Jill said in her latest post, I feel each one of us is already a mother in our hearts. Why else would we go through hell and back to have a child? So whether you are already a mom, a mommy-to-be, mommy to an angel, or a mother in your heart I wish you many blessings today. May all your dreams come true!

My "first" Mother's Day as a mom-t0-be was nice, but busy. I received many sweet cards from family and friends and my mom sent me a gift card to Mothe.rhood Maternity (just in time, might I add!). Sean bought me a sweet card and wrote notes from him, Libby and the baby. It was very sweet. I had to work for a few hours in the morning and then we went to a cookout at my aunt and uncle's house. I missed my Mom a lot today and wished we had planned a trip to Buff.alo to see everyone. It was a day filled with many different emotions - awe, fear, disbelief, love and hope. I can't believe I am finally pregnant; there is another heart beating inside my body and a little baby growing big & strong everyday. It is pretty awe inspiring!

Sean continues to pamper me - cooking, cleaning, laundry, waiting on me hand & foot. He really impressed me yesterday by assembling some pretty spectacular fruit, veggie and cheese platters for Mother's Day. He is so protective and I love it. Every night he gives me a belly rub with Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Butter and talks to the baby. It is the sweetest thing.

Some of you have asked why we are calling the baby Ralphie and/or Baby Saucy. My stepfather named the baby Ralphie within a day of finding out I was pregnant. I have no idea why, but it could be the Christmas due date/A Christmas Story connection. It has kind of stuck, especially for my family. Saucy is Sean's nickname. He is a redhead and a few years back a coworker from South America started calling him Saucy because in his country they call redheads "Sauceheads". To say that stuck would be an understatement, in some circles, he is exclusively known as Saucy or Sauce. I would love, love, love a little redheaded baby!

I am 7w4d today and here is a weekly summary:

How am I feeling? Tired and a strong sense of "ICK". Not really nauseous, but a very unsettled tummy. Oh the bloat!! None of my pants button and if it wasn't for the belly band, I would be a miserable momma. Hair & nails growing, growing, growing!!

Milestone of the week: Far & away - seeing the baby's heartbeat (although technically that was 6w5). I have my 1st OB appt this Friday and hoping to sneak another peek!

What is the baby up to? He or she is the size of a blueberry and growing fast. He/she is busy growing arms & legs. Pigment has developed in the eyes and the baby already has an appendix and a pancreas. He or she is 10,000 times larger than the day of conception.

What am I craving? Not too much - waffles sounded really good today. Most things sound good, but I change my mind a few bites in.

Aversions? Applesauce, gum and seafood.

Weight gain: +2lbs

Discovery of the week: Baby Bargains Book 8th edition. A mommy friend sent it to me last week and I big, puffy heart LOVE it! I am easily overwhelmed by large purchases and this book breaks it all down. I can't wait to start shopping - c'mon 2nd tri!

What do I miss? My sex drive and red wine *sigh*

Quote of the week: Sean upon observing the nighttime bloat, "Oh my God! You are gonna be HUGE!!!" LOL! Thanks, babe! ;)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

100th Post!

Amazed. Joyful. Grateful. In awe. Happy. Smiling. Hopeful. Pregnant...

I have not felt this way in so very long. I cannot stop smiling, I cannot believe this is my life. There were days I thought this might never happen, that I might never feel such sheer joy ever again. I never want this feeling to end.

I know it is early, I know anything can still happen, but I am committed to enjoying each & every day of this pregnancy. There are things that are beyond my control, but I can't obsess over them. This is further than I have ever been before and for today, that is enough.

This is my 100th post & so much has happened in the last year and a half. There were some dark and bitter moments along the way & some glimmers of hope too.

It is amazing how much your life can change in just one week with just one phone call...

I can't even comprehend how much I already love this little baby growing inside of me. Can you believe that at just 4 weeks and 6 days, just 20 short little days of life, there is another heart beating inside of my own? It astounds me every time I think about it. I love that my baby's heart began beating today - the day of my 100th post - such a milestone on this long and painful journey.

When I began blogging I never imagined how much lay ahead of me - how many stories would move me to joyful tears or heartbreaking sobs, how many women would inspire me and root for me, how I would care so deeply for so many families I have never even met, how many friends I would make a long the way, or how much pain & heart break was would come with every failed cycle and mostly, I never could have imagined how much joy was awaiting me on this journey.

I am humbled by this miracle growing inside of me. I hope and pray everyday that this baby is a fighter, that he or she will grow big & strong, that my body gives this baby what it needs to thrive, that this will finally be our happy ending...

I feel like a new person & I like this woman very much!