Santa Can Bite Me!

40w3d no baby in sight...Off to the midwife in the morning. Fingers crossed for some progress.

Christmas started off great. We stayed in PJs all day, watched movies and ate snacks. It all went to hell in a hand basket around 5:30 when Libby, our mini schnauzer, jumped for a toy and collapsed screaming in pain, it was evident something was very wrong with her rear leg. Sean & my dad stabilized her, but we rushed off to the vet ER - her shaking and crying the whole way - they had to sedate her just to do the exam and xrays. Turns out she dislocated her hip They put her under anesthesia and popped it back into place. We picked her up late that night. It cost a small FORTUNE.

Poor little girl cried and cried for hours - she was in so much pain. Even the pain meds didn't seem to take the edge off. I guess the crying and whimpering can be a side effect of the anesthetic and all the stress, but she was breaking our hearts.

Sean is amazing and sat reclined on the sofa, fully dressed with her all night long while she cried and slept on and off. He wanted me to get some sleep in case I went into labor. He is the best puppy daddy ever and is going to be a pretty awesome daddy to this LO as well.

Libby seems much better pain wise, but we had to switch meds because it gave her horrendous diarrhea - she can't catch a break.

The bad news, she is at increased risk for it happening again in the next few weeks and if it does, she will need surgery ASAP. She is on restricted activity for FOUR weeks - no steps, no hardwood floors, no running or jumping. That should be fun with a newborn. Thank goodness Sean is off for another week or so and my parents are here for 10 more days...

Needless to say, not the type of excitement we were hoping for! I am just glad I didn't go into labor in the middle of all that mess, but now that she is on the mend, bring it!

Dear Santa...

It may be too late to get in my Christmas wish, but I was hoping there was room on your list for one more request. We haven't spoke in many years, but some of my best memories are from Christmas morning - all thanks to you and your elves. As you know, Sean and I began our story 13 years ago on Christmas Day and 7 years ago was especially magical when Sean proposed to me under the tree on Christmas morning.

We need your help this year too. You see, Ralphie was due to arrive today, but the stork seems to be stuck somewhere behind your sleigh and the UPS man, so we were hoping there might be room our your sleigh for our little one. He or she shouldn't take up much room, but he or she sure will fill so many hearts with joy and love!

So, Santa, if you can, our only wish this year is to welcome our new son or daughter into our lives. It would be the best Christmas gift ever...

Love,
Emily & Sean

Nesting as therapy

Well, things are cruising right along around here! We are 1 week from our EDD and as ready as we are going to get! I even managed to clean out that pesky tupperware cabinet last week. I am confident I can find more things to knock out around here, but as far as prep for Ralphie, we are all set!!!

Part of my nesting involved cleaning out my IVF cabinet which I had been putting off for my entire pregnancy. At first I suppose that was out of fear, but then it just became a fixture of my life and honestly, hard for me to let go of. I did coordinate a donation with another girl who is OOP and that felt great and yet I still felt the need to hang onto some of it. I donated meds that were set to expire, but anything that had at least 6mo left, I boxed up and put away along with all my sharps, gauze, alcohol pads etc... I don't really know why. It is pretty unrealistic that I would be ready to cycle again in 6 short months, especially since I plan to breastfeed for a year and yet, I just couldn't get rid of all those meds. It felt so familiar to handle them - I could smell them, I could feel the sting of the needle and the burn of the meds entering my bloodstream. It was bizarre.

As close as I am to holding my baby in my arms, I still have a big part of IF inside of me. I still cry every time I hear one of my IVF anthems - Her Diamonds by Rob Thomas, Broken by Lifehouse and Shattered by OAR bring me right back to my darkest days and reminds me of how much I have to be thankful for this holiday season. To all of those still in the trenches, I am thinking of you and wishing you strength during the holidays and hope for the new year!

Here it is! The 39w update and I am thinking it might be the last one...hopefully those words don't come back to bite me!

How am I feeling? Ready to meet my little one! A little sad that this part of my journey is coming to an end. I will miss being pregnant and hope I can experience it again some day. Still peeing an insane number of times per day! Fetal movement is sometimes painful as he/she runs out of room.

Milestones: The final days are here! It has passed me by in a flash...

Signs of Labor: YUP! I lost my mucus plug/had bloody show this morning!! Have had more braxton hicks over the past few days. At my 38w appt, I was 90% effaced, cervix was midline and soft and the baby was -2 station. No dilation. If I don't go into labor this weekend, I have my next internal on Monday! I know all this could mean nothing more than hurry up and wait, but it could also mean that labor is right around the corner. Either way, my body is working hard to get ready!

Cravings: I have been really hungry lately! Still eating my waffles daily and drinking my chocolate milk :)

What do I miss? Putting on my own socks :)

What am I looking forward to? The big day! So much anticipation...

Weight gain: 9lbs total - I have gained 4lbs in the past 2 weeks and MW thinks it is mostly fluid as my legs have been a little swollen. BP is perfect!!

What am I doing to help labor along? Drinking Raspberry Leaf Tea - at least 2 cups a day- and taking 1500mg of Evening Primrose Oil daily. Walking, having sex, bouncing on the yoga ball, doing squats, and eating spicy foods!
When does the family arrive? Wednesday!! I can't wait!

So that's it. I am thinking I may go into labor over the weekend - the 18th is my Dad's bday and he has been deceased since 2000, so that would be kind of special. We are also expecting a winter storm this weekend and that would be appropriate for our little snowbaby!

Thank you to everyone who responded to our poll and took a guess about Ralphie's birthday!

I am wishing all of you a very happy holiday season - may all your dreams come true!

So much to say

I know, I know, I disappeared again and for a long time. I am so sorry! On an almost daily basis I think about something to blog about, but I never actually sit down to write. I want to, I really do!

We have been pretty busy this summer - weddings, parties, cookouts, traveling to Buffalo etc... We spent the holiday weekend in Buffalo celebrating our Goddaughters' birthday parties and attending a family reunion on my Dad's side. It was a great trip and a wonderful reminder of how much love and support is awaiting this baby. We received some adorable baby gifts. My mom bought some super cute sleepers and onesies and my aunt from Ireland knitted a beautiful blanket and hat. It was exciting to get our first gifts!!! My mom also won one of those small, Fl.ip video cameras at a golf tournament and she gave it to Sean as a Father's Day gift. It is so cool! It is an HD video camera that is the size of a digital camera. Perfect for posting cute videos of the baby! All in all, it was a wonderful weekend and reinforced to us that Buffalo is where we want to raise our family.

Our plan is still to move back home and we are thinking it might be a possibility in about a year or so, but it really depends on Sean's new job and whether or not they can work out way from him to telecommute. Now that my mom is awaiting the birth of her first (and possibly only) grandchild she is anxious for us to come home, or else she said she might have to move here! That would be incredible, but we ultimately want to be back in Buffalo with our entire family.

Speaking of the grandparents, my mom, step dad and Sean's parents have booked their flights to come down for Ralphie's birth!!! Even though it is still months down the line, my Christmas Eve due date really complicates travel arrangements. Sou.thwest had $49 flights and they book really fast due to the holiday, so when they saw available, cheap flights they booked them. They are all going to arrive on 12/23 - one day before my EDD. My in laws are planning to stay one week and my parents are staying two. There is really no way to predict if the baby will come early, late or right on time. We figured at least, they have their tickets and if I go early, they can always exchange them. If I go late, they are already here to celebrate the holiday and if I am right on time - even better! Driving really wasn't an option because Sean's mom hates traveling by car (the women has panic attacks in the car for 20mins, let alone 7 hours) and the weather in December is too unpredictable going through those mountains in PA. I wasn't crazy about my mom driving like a maniac trying to make it in time & running the risk of missing the birth all together if I went fast, they hit bad weather etc... I feel better knowing they have a plan!

In other baby news, Sean & I have started really thinking about our major baby purchases. We spent all day Saturday at Great Beginnings (rated as one of the best baby stores in the country by B.aby Bargains) near DC and it was so much fun. Overwhelming, but fun. The place is HUGE! The furniture showroom was incredible - they must have had 75 nursery sets on the floor. Every name brand and some hard to find ones too. We have narrowed our furniture choices down to two and hope to order in the next two weeks. The salespeople were incredible. They were truly experts in their field. Looking at car seats and strollers was like shopping for a new car - the salespeople were that knowledgeable about the products. Getting close to making a decision there to - I am thinking stroller frame and either the Gra.co Snugride or Chi.cco Keyfit. After seeing the installation demo in store, I am leaning more towards the keyfit at this point. Gender neutral bedding is proving to be difficult and I have a possibility in mind, but want to go look at fabric as well. We are going to register right after our big u/s in a few weeks!

My family has booked my shower for October 25th and it feels like that is going to be here before we know it! I feel like time is flying by now that I am in the 2nd tri and there is so much to do to get ready for this little one's arrival. I can't wait to start pulling it all together!

I am officially 16w4d pregnant and here is a recent rundown.

How am I feeling? Still vomiting. It is less frequent - only once a week or so now, but I wish it would stop for good. I feel like I have more energy, but can still sleep like a champ. I am finally off progesterone and estr.ace and am having massive mood swings. I am not sure if it has anything to do with being off the meds, or if it is just pregnancy, but it has hit me hard. I have been pretty even keeled up until the past few days and now my hormones are all over the place. Mad, sad, angry, happy, giddy...all in the span of a few minutes. Poor Sean!

How do I look? Pregnant. Perhaps I will post a belly pic in coming weeks. My family was surprised how much my belly had changed since Memorial day weekend. I don't feel like my body is changing anywhere else - just a round belly and bigger boobs.

Milestones? I *think* I may have felt movement a few days ago, but I cannot be sure. I was sound asleep and had been laying on my right side for about 6 hours straight. I was just stirring because I had to pee and roll over. As a rolled over to my left side, it felt like something did a huge somersault in my belly. My eyes flew wide open and my hand went right to my belly. I have never felt anything like it, but I haven't felt it since either, so I am really not sure. I am anxious to feel movement more frequently though!

What is Ralphie up to? Growing so big and strong! He or she is the size of an avocado - far cry from my little poppy seed - and weighs almost 4oz. He or she is urinating, has taste buds, is hiccuping, may be sucking its thumb and moving like crazy.

What am I craving? Potbelly Italian Sandwiches - YUM! Subway Veggie Subs.

Aversions? Chicken

What do I miss? Wine. A perfectly chilled glass of white wine on a hot summer's night. A rich pinot noir with a steak fresh off the grill.

What am I looking forward to? More movement, registering, ordering the furniture, and starting the nursery.

Weight gain? Officially, just 1lb. That is according to my OBs scale, but I did not have my first appt with them until 8w and between 4-8w I gained 3-4 lbs. So, unofficially, I am up closer to 5lbs, both me and my OB are fine with it.

What am I reading? What to Expect..., Your Preg. Week by Week, Bab.y Bargains, and Ina May's Guide to Chi.ldbirth.

Speaking of Ina May's book, although I like my OB practice, I am planning on touring a birthing center in the next few weeks. I have always wanted to experience natural childbirth and based on a few of the docs comments, I am not sure how supportive they would be. Additionally, Sean is concerned about how far my OB and the hospital is - almost in hour in no traffic and good weather. The birthing center and the hospital they are affiliated with are only 15 minutes away. I am planning a more detailed post on this topic in the future.

I think that wraps things up - sorry so long, this what happens when it has been 3 weeks since I last updated! Oh! One last thing, please stop by Meinsideout's blog and wish her HUGE congratulations! She is one of the biggest cheerleaders in the blogosphere and she has good news to share. She could also use thoughts, prayers and good vibes that this is her sticky miracle.

2009 "The Year of Hope"

Happy New Year! I hope the first week of 2009 has been kind to everyone! My year is off to a reasonably good start and I am feeling better than I have in a long time. It is nice to be off all the hormones, not have a million doctors appointments, and to actually be feeling a little more like me.

Honestly, the holidays were better than I expected. Family was very supportive and kind without being overbearing or full of 'assvice'. My mom went overboard for Christmas and bought us a Wii. It is seriously the best thing ever! She was so sweet when she gave it to us. She said, "I know we were cutting back this year, but you are so sad and broken hearted. I knew I could not fix it for you, but I could at least bring a smile to your face." That she did! It was also a long over due gift. I begged and pleaded throughout my childhood for a Nintendo system and she never, ever gave in, until now!!! Sean hooked it up Christmas morning and the four of us (Sean,me & my parents) laughed harder than we have in a VERY long time. My parents had a holiday open house the next night and it was definitely the hit of the party! Sean & I have had a ball with it and are completely addicted to Guit.ar Hero! I can't wait until the Wii Fit is back in stock!

New Year's Eve was fun as well. We invited Amanda and her family over for a slumber party. We made tons of appetizers, played Wii and drank an adult beverage or two or three or maybe more ;) It was a great way to start off 2009!

As far as resolutions go, I only made one and it is to use my time more wisely. By doing that I will also be reaching more of my goals - planning my meals, cooking before I leave for work in the afternoon, getting in some exercise, staying on top of home projects etc... I feel my life will have more balance if I am making better use of my time. So far, so good. I have cooked a yummy, healthy meal every day before I leave for tutoring. The house is stocked with healthy foods, I have packed Sean's lunch daily and even checked a thing or two off my master to do list. Life is good in our house this week!

I have been hearing 2009 referred to as "The Year of Hope". The man behind me in the grocery store was making small talk with me and the cashier and he was the first to say it and tie into Obama. It struck a chord with me immediately. I told him how much I loved it and thanked him for sharing it with me. It reminded me of something that happened on Christmas morning. Sean & I had agreed to keep our gift giving very low key this year. We have a bad habit of going a little crazy with gifts for one another, so this year we agreed to keep it small and meaningful. We have a tradition of buying each other a personalized ornament every year for the holidays. I had a hard time picking one this year and told him we should just pick one together. We never got around to it, but on Christmas morning he had an ornament for me to open. It was an old-fashioned white mortar and pestle that you would see in a pharmacy. It has a red ribbon and it says in glittery red lettering 'Rx'. Sean had it personalized to say 'HOPE ~2009~' It took my breath away and I started bawling! Before the New Year had even arrived, Sean had already coined 2009 the year of hope.

Then, during Oprah's Best Life Week show on Monday, she also called 2009 the year of hope, the year hope will triumph. I seem to be noticing it every where.

I have decided to make this my mantra for 2009 - The Year Of Hope. May it be a year of hope for all you - may you find the hope that may be fading and grab on to it with all you have. May hope triumph over fear in 2009.

In honor or our President-Elect, in honor of the Year of Hope and in honor of each of us, some quotes~

"Hope – Hope in the face of difficulty. Hope in the face of uncertainty. The audacity of hope! In the end, that is God’s greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this nation. A belief in things not seen. A belief that there are better days ahead." ~Barack Obama

"Hope is not blind optimism. Hope is not ignorance of the difficulties of the task ahead or the hurdles that stand in your way… It’s just the opposite." ~Barack Obama

To better days...