Paralyzed

So here I sit 11dp3dt, pregnant or not, and I cannot decide if/when I want to know. I have not tested since Thursday.

I have never been so paralyzed in my life.

I can't stop thinking about it. Am I? Aren't I? The best news of our lives? Or another broken heart?

Sean & my mom both say they can't take the pain of seeing me so devastated. Maybe that is adding to my anxiety level?

I feel normal. I feel hopeful. I feel dreadful. I am scared. I am excited. I want to know more than anything. It is the last news I want to hear. I am anxious. I am obsessed.

Can I make it 3 and a half more days? Should I put myself out of my misery today?

It could all be over, for better or worse inside an hour... Don't know if I can do it.

Are you ever ready for the news that changes your life?