6 weeks

Once again, thank you so much for your responses. Thank you for sharing your experiences and your advice with me. I love how so many new people are coming out of lurker status to comment!

We have decided to wait until Tuesday for the u/s. It is more of a "trusting my gut" thing than anything else, but, the fact that if we didn't see a heartbeat, I would be stuck in limbo for an entire week helped me make a decision because I think that would be worse than waiting until Tuesday. I will be anxiously counting down the moments, but it will be here soon enough, I guess.

I have been taking it very easy since Monday, probably unnecessarily so, but I have not had anything pressing going on, so why not? My anxiety level is way down, but I am not quite back to the happy-go-lucky, little ray of sunshine that I was last week either. I will feel 100% better after the u/s.

I am done with PIO and back on Endometrin suppositories and really hoping that going back to supps doesn't stir up the bleeding. We had an insurance lapse while we were waiting for COBRA to kick in and Endometrin was CRAZY expensive and we already had PIO at home. 2ccs of PIO nightly is really tough on the muscles though and my nurse was anxious for me to get back to the supps ASAP. My butt and hips are sore and I suspect they will be for awhile. Sean is the master shot giver and they never hurt going in, but the effect is cumulative.

I am 6 weeks today and Baby Saucy is the size of a sweet pea and the nose, mouth & ears are taking shape. The little heart is beating, blood is pumping through the tiny body and the lungs and intestines are at the early stages of development. That is a quick development summary from a variety of sources including thebump, babycenter and my pregnancy books.

Symptom checker: The same as they have been for weeks now. I would say my dreams are getting more and more vivid and stranger and stranger. I am ready for a new symptom or two to pop up! I know, I know - be careful what you wish for!

Speaking of dreams, last night I had a vivid dream about my u/s and we saw 3 sac and 3 heartbeats - triplets! Now that would be CRAZY!!! Speaking of, you should swing over to Carrie's blog and read "Could you repeat that?" and wish her well!

Looks like we are going to have a busy movie weekend, busy movie May for that matter. So many good one coming out - Wol.verine, Ghosts of Girl.friends Past, Angels and De.mons, Sta.r Trek...! I can't wait - movie night with Sean is one of my favorite things!

Thank to everyone who has voted on my poll! Keep 'em coming!

4w4d - Beta #2

First things first, my 2nd beta was this morning and my levels have really taken off. My beta was 56 on Thursday and since they are supposed to double every 48-72 hours, we were expecting a # between the mid100's-mid200's today. I was shocked and elated when my nurse told me my beta was over 600!!!!!!! Woo-hoo! Looks like I'm baking one tough, strong cookie! My nurse said it was a "beautiful and impressive number!" Doubling time of 28.35 hours. My p4 is over 30 which is also quite a jump from Thursday.

Sean & I spent the weekend on Cloud 9. We went to Barn.es and Noble on Friday and I picked up What to Expect and Your Pregnancy Week by Week and perused some pregnancy magazines. Sean even peeped at a baby name book! It melted my heart. You should have seen how proud I was walking through the store with my VERY OWN pregnancy books! I signed up for Baby.center and spent the weekend soaking up pregnancy related info. On Sunday, we went to the mall and even allowed ourselves to walk around PBK. Sean was so cute. He fell in love with the Lullaby Rocker! He has been joking all weekend that he is going to be working an awful lot over the next 8 months to afford all the cute things we Ooohed and Ahhhed over.

He has also been spoiling me rotten. He cleaned the whole first floor, did all the yard work, cooked and ordered to me to the couch & wouldn't let me lift a finger whenever we were home. He is very overprotective right now and I would be lying if I said I didn't love it!

My parents are giddy. My stepfather has nicknamed the baby Ralphie and every time I call he says,"Ralphie's Mommy is on the phone!" We crack up every time, but have to remind him that Ralph is not even on our top 10,000.

Despite having a wonderful weekend, I had some major anxiety going into this morning's blood work. I had a tiny bit of brown spotting on my liner last night and this morning when I wiped there was some brown tinged mucous on the t.p. Most of my symptoms have been very mild and even subsided a little since last week. It was kind of a stressful morning - we had a toilet overflow and traffic and weather were terrible so my anxiety was SKY HIGH by time I got to my clinic. My nurse reassured me that the spotting was normal and might even be in part from switching from Endometrin to PIO (the endometrin was uber expensive and I already have 2 vials of PIO, so we switched).

Needless to say, my anxiety quickly switched to elation when I heard about my beta number. What a roller coaster!

Symptom Checker: boobs are much less sore than they were, but I have had a shooting pain in my left one on and off. Last night, I had a sharp, shooting pain/cramp on the left side of my lower belly. I fell asleep on the couch around 9pm which is super early for me, so I guess I was pooped. I am very thirsty and am drinking lots and lots of water. I feel kinda yucky ever since I ate lunch today - sorta like I have a stomachache. Super sharp sense of smell continues - I feel like I smell people's perfume, breath, detergent, shampoo etc...

My clinic doesn't want to see me again until NEXT Monday for another beta and my u/s is in approximately 2 weeks, but it is not on the scheduled yet. I guess I just need to try to relax and enjoy the next week and try not to stress too much about what is going on in there.

Still in awe..still amazing...back on Cloud 9! The Year of Hope has been very good to us so far...

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

I am supposed to start FET #1 on CD1. The good news? I am spotting and full flow is close. The very bad news? Our tax return has not arrived yet. The problem? We planned on using our return to pay the balance due on our FET & clinic won't let me start Estrace until I am paid in full. Things are tight right now with Sean just starting a new job and the return is the only way we can swing this cycle for time being.

I am trying to hold out hope that the $ will arrive before full flow, but it is not looking good. The state tax website is not showing us in the system yet and says that the average wait time is 4 weeks and we are only two and half weeks in. I am very disappointed.

I am torn between borrowing the money from my mom or just sucking it up and waiting for my April cycle. Waiting another 4 weeks is not the end of the world, but I already lost a month in December when I messed up my BCP, got AF early and could not start mock cycle because I was out of town and it was Christmas Eve. My mom would lend us the money, but she already made some horribly cliche comment about how maybe it was meant to be this way and maybe I should take it as an additional opportunity to continue losing weight. I know she didn't mean to sound insensitive and that she was kind of only echoing what I have been saying about my own weight loss, but jeezey peezy! I am down 16.2lbs and was hoping to be down 20 before transfer and I still think that is possible even if I do begin my FET this week. I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.

If we decide to wait, I think we all know how this will go down - $ will arrive 2 days after full flow and then some crazy cash emergency will arise and I will have to use the FET $ for that instead and I will be stuck in waiting-to-cycle-hell! Ugh!

Possibly the ugliest part of it all is that I have had the worst PMS ever. I seriously felt like I was on PIO - sore boobs, super bloated, tired, cravings, the whole nine yards. I am sure you can deduce all the crazy things that have been running through my mind. I know it is the Year of Hope and all, but I was off the deep end; I was teetering on the edge of the Year of Delusions!

For now, I wait & hope that full flow stays at bay and Uncle Sam comes through with a last minute Hail Mary...