Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A letter to my child

Dear Ralphie,

Hello my little one! It is the day before Thanksgiving and I cannot even begin to describe to you the joy and gratefulness that fill my heart this year. Some days I feel like I just might burst with happiness about your impending arrival. To feel you move and roll and kick in my belly is one of the best feelings in the world. Admittedly, I will miss it. I will miss knowing you are all mine and knowing you are the only one who has ever heard my heartbeat from the inside. I do think having you in my arms to kiss and snuggle will more than make up for that though.

The calendar tells me that we have less than a month until we meet you, my instinct tells me it could be a wee bit sooner than that. Do you know how excited your Daddy and I are to finally meet you? We have been dreaming about this day for so very long and it is finally close at hand. We have feathered a little nest for you, we hope you will be most comfortable here.

Daddy and I talk about you all the time. We wonder if you are a boy or a girl, although we both strongly feel you are a boy and I think you might shock us if you are a little girl. We will be over the moon either way and Mommy gets all choked up thinking about the moment we hear the words, "It's a...!" We wonder and daydream about what you will look like. Will you have your Daddy's red hair that Mommy always dreams of? Will you have his baby blues, or my green eyes? Based on your early photos, I think you have your Daddy's legs and feet. What will your personality be like? Your Gramma Rita always says that your Daddy, "was a great baby, a great child, an easy teenager and a wonderful man." I couldn't agree more and hope you have his easy, laid back personality. We have so many hopes and dreams for you and we can't wait to see who you are and who you have yet to become.

I can't wait to look into your sweet little face for the first time and gaze into your eyes and tell you how much I love you. I can't wait to see you in your Daddy's arms and to see the look on his face as he meets his son or daughter for the first time. I can't wait to count and kiss your ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. I can't wait to feel your skin on my skin, to feed you for the first time, to hold you and to love you. I already love you so much I don't know how my heart could get any fuller, but I think it might just burst out of my chest the first time I have you in my arms.

Daddy and I promise to be good parents. We will always be here for you - to love you, to hug you and to kiss you, to listen to you, to keep you safe and warm, to guide you, to lead you, to teach you, to discipline you, to let you make your mistakes and catch you when you fall, to mend skinned little knees and broken hearts too. We will be your biggest cheerleaders and our hearts will be filled with pride at your accomplishments - big and small. I can't promise that we will always be your best friends or that will be the "cool" parents, but we will do the best we can to help you grow up to be a good person.

Your family is filled with anticipation as well. Gramma and Papa are especially excited to meet their first grandchild. I apologize in advance if the nickname Ralphie sticks with you. You have your Papa to thank for that. As soon as he found out you were due on Christmas Eve, he coined the nickname in honor of Ralphie in "A Christmas Story." So, talk to him if you hate it! You are grandchild #10 for Daddy's side and they are just as excited to meet you. Your cousins are pretty excited too! See how loved you are already???

I can't think of a more magical time of year to bring you into this world. There was a time in our lives when the holidays filled us with a certain sadness, but you have changed that for us forever. Now our hearts are filled with joy thinking of all the memories to be made with you.

I will treasure these last weeks feeling you in my belly. I will try not to wish them away, but I am anxiously awaiting your birthday. One year ago, I wrote this post. It all seemed so abstract and now my dreams are coming true. You are our miracle, our little snowflake, our heart and our soul and I promise that you will be blessed...

I love you forever,