Slacker

I have been a terrible blogger lately and I apologize to everyone. Not only have I been a slacker about posting, but I am way behind on my reading and commenting too! I blame "Ralphie" for my new found slackerdom. I wish I could say my laziness was limited to my blogging, but I have been pretty useless across the board. Thank goodness my husband rocks! He is becoming quite the house husband ;)

Last Friday morning and we had our first OB appt. I have always loved my doc, but I had no idea how different it is when you are a pregnant patient. They really rolled out the red carpet. I met a doc I had not seen before and he was great. He was thorough and patient and candid. The appt started with some basic health questions and an internal exam with pap. Then, I got dressed and we had a sit down in the office where he went through all kinds of info and answered our questions. He told me to call whenever I have a question or concern. He recognized how much we have been through and said worrying is 100% normal. He is pretty laid back about things like lunch meat and soft cheese, but he did stress that the soft cheese has to be pasturized. He also told us that the FDA recommendation for EVERYONE is to heat lunch meat before consumption and obviously not many people do that. He joked that he has never seen a patient die from a deli sandwich and moderation is the key. I have not wanted deli meat, so it has been a non-issue so far, but I did have a chicken finger sub last night smothered in blue cheese and it was sooooooooo good. Anyway, I our appt was great and we head back on June 4th. The only downside is that insurance does not cover u/s @ the office so I had to schedule one off site on Monday. See the wrap up below for details!

In spite of the fact that I am 9w2d pregnant, I am going to devote this post to the 8 week wrap up.

How am I feeling? Not so good. After a long weekend of feeling AWFUL - exhausted, queasy and YUCKY overall, on Tuesday morning @ 8w4d, I started vomiting. Luckily, it has not been too bad. It is averaging every other day and only in the morning as soon as I get out of the shower. The good news is that on the days that I get sick, I feel great the rest of the day.

Milestones of the week: There have been a few this week. My first ob appt, u/s and hearing the heartbeat. The u/s was AMAZING! Ralphie has grown so much in just 2 weeks. He was really starting to look like a baby. Sean got to see the baby move its arms and we got to hear the heartbeat for the first time. It was 171bpm and the most beautiful sound we have ever heard. The tears started running and just wouldn't stop. It was incredible. I think a doppler is in my future, because I could listen to that sound all day long.

What is Ralphie up to? He or she is the size of a kidney bean and has webbed fingers and toes and is constantly moving around.

What am I craving? Carbs, lots and lots of carbs.

Aversions: Anything can set me off to feeling awful without warning.

Weight Gain: +3 total. OB wants me to limit my weight gain to 15-20 max, so I am going to have to be careful. Right now though, if something sounds good and tastes good, I eat it.

Discovery of the week: Motherhood Maternity Secret Belly capris. Yes, I broke down and bought a pair and I looooove them. The bella band works with most of my pants and jeans, but for some reason, it did not work out with my jean capris and those are a staple of my wardrobe so I had to find a solution. I am also looking quite plump in regular shirts so I bought some cute ruched tops at Motherhood that don't look maternity at all, but don't make me look quite so fat because they don't cling to the belly in all the wrong places.

What do I miss? My sex drive :(

All in all, it was a great week! We decided to head up to Buffalo for the holiday weekend and to celebrate my 30th birthday and my Mom's birthday. The drive was good and we are enjoying ourselves. I will be sure to do my 9 week update sooner than later and try to be a better blogger! Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend!

Finally, some pics from our u/s. The first one is the side view and the head is pointed down and the feet are curled up at the top. The 2nd one is the front view and you can see both arms and legs in this shot. I am so in love!!!

Finally, a new post!

I have probably sat down to write some version of this post 5 different times, but something always gets in the way. I have been tired (oh, so tired) and busy, but I am just up from a nap and find myself with a few hours before work. Heck, I even managed to make dinner tonight - it has been a very good day!

First, I want to wish every one of my readers a Happy Mother's Day. I know it is a tough day for many of us and for many different reasons. As Jill said in her latest post, I feel each one of us is already a mother in our hearts. Why else would we go through hell and back to have a child? So whether you are already a mom, a mommy-to-be, mommy to an angel, or a mother in your heart I wish you many blessings today. May all your dreams come true!

My "first" Mother's Day as a mom-t0-be was nice, but busy. I received many sweet cards from family and friends and my mom sent me a gift card to Mothe.rhood Maternity (just in time, might I add!). Sean bought me a sweet card and wrote notes from him, Libby and the baby. It was very sweet. I had to work for a few hours in the morning and then we went to a cookout at my aunt and uncle's house. I missed my Mom a lot today and wished we had planned a trip to Buff.alo to see everyone. It was a day filled with many different emotions - awe, fear, disbelief, love and hope. I can't believe I am finally pregnant; there is another heart beating inside my body and a little baby growing big & strong everyday. It is pretty awe inspiring!

Sean continues to pamper me - cooking, cleaning, laundry, waiting on me hand & foot. He really impressed me yesterday by assembling some pretty spectacular fruit, veggie and cheese platters for Mother's Day. He is so protective and I love it. Every night he gives me a belly rub with Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Butter and talks to the baby. It is the sweetest thing.

Some of you have asked why we are calling the baby Ralphie and/or Baby Saucy. My stepfather named the baby Ralphie within a day of finding out I was pregnant. I have no idea why, but it could be the Christmas due date/A Christmas Story connection. It has kind of stuck, especially for my family. Saucy is Sean's nickname. He is a redhead and a few years back a coworker from South America started calling him Saucy because in his country they call redheads "Sauceheads". To say that stuck would be an understatement, in some circles, he is exclusively known as Saucy or Sauce. I would love, love, love a little redheaded baby!

I am 7w4d today and here is a weekly summary:

How am I feeling? Tired and a strong sense of "ICK". Not really nauseous, but a very unsettled tummy. Oh the bloat!! None of my pants button and if it wasn't for the belly band, I would be a miserable momma. Hair & nails growing, growing, growing!!

Milestone of the week: Far & away - seeing the baby's heartbeat (although technically that was 6w5). I have my 1st OB appt this Friday and hoping to sneak another peek!

What is the baby up to? He or she is the size of a blueberry and growing fast. He/she is busy growing arms & legs. Pigment has developed in the eyes and the baby already has an appendix and a pancreas. He or she is 10,000 times larger than the day of conception.

What am I craving? Not too much - waffles sounded really good today. Most things sound good, but I change my mind a few bites in.

Aversions? Applesauce, gum and seafood.

Weight gain: +2lbs

Discovery of the week: Baby Bargains Book 8th edition. A mommy friend sent it to me last week and I big, puffy heart LOVE it! I am easily overwhelmed by large purchases and this book breaks it all down. I can't wait to start shopping - c'mon 2nd tri!

What do I miss? My sex drive and red wine *sigh*

Quote of the week: Sean upon observing the nighttime bloat, "Oh my God! You are gonna be HUGE!!!" LOL! Thanks, babe! ;)

The Big Reveal

Today is a day I will remember forever. I saw my sweet, little baby's heart beating for the first time and it was an amazing site to see.

I was so anxious going in to my appt. and my clinic never makes you wait long and of course this morning we waited FOREVER! At one point Sean joked that he was going to hit the lights and get started without Dr. P. This made me crack up!

Dr. P finally came in and we got started. I am not sure I was even breathing. He turned the monitor towards him and right away he said, "It's good news! We have a heartbeat! There's only one!" Then, he turned the monitor towards us so we could take it all in. The baby is soooooo small, just a 1/2 cm, but the flicker of the heartbeat was very clear. Sean & I just stared in awe at the screen. Dr. P did not see anything that he thinks would have caused the bleeding, but did say I have a pocket of old blood that I could likely pass. At least I can be on the look out now.

After the u/s, Dr. P had us meet with him in his office where he told us the baby is measuring right on. He confirmed our EDD as Christmas Eve, said he was cautiously optimistic for a positive outcome, thanked us for helping his statistics :), gave us a few instructions and told us we would be "graduating" to our OB today. No more appts at the clinic. This caught me TOTALLY off guard. I definitely need to plan a visit in the next few weeks to see the girls that were off today and bring everyone a token of our appreciation.

Sean & I are both overjoyed, but I do have to say that neither one of had the big outpouring of emotion that I thought we would have. We were both very quiet during the u/s and during our meeting with Dr. P. We went out to lunch afterwards and we talked about how there is still a lot of unknown and leaving the security of the clinic has us feeling a little unsettled. They really cared for us and handled us with kid gloves and I just do not have that relationship with my OB. I know seeing a heartbeat is a huge milestone and I am overwhelmed by all my emotions right now. We were both a little sad that Jack & Diane did not hang in there together and yet relieved that we will not face the risks of a multiple pregnancy at this point. As my mom said, we can always work up to that :)

So, without further ado, I present Baby Saucy or "Ralphie" if you prefer!

Now I need to start working on a new blog title!!!

'Twas the night before u/s...

and Emily's anxiety level is sky high! I can't believe how volatile my emotional state is right now. One minute I am sitting here in my bella band, reading my pregnancy books, browsing baby sites feeling 100% like a normal, naive, confident pregnant woman. The next minute, I am freaking out, questioning my symptoms, thinking about the bleeding episode and doubting that we will hear good news tomorrow. This sucks!

I asked Amanda if she felt this way when she was pregnant and she said no. She just assumed everything was fine and going according to plan. She commented about how much she thinks infertility has stolen from me and how it doesn't end when you are finally pregnant and she is 100% right. I think I am pretty calm and "normal" about this pregnancy and then I get close to a blood draw or have some spotting or get ready for my u/s and I am a mess! This is not what normal women go through! In some ways, I guess women who suffer with IF just know too much. We have seen too much heartbreak to relax and go with the flow.

I said from day 1 that I was going to try to enjoy every second of this pregnancy. I said I knew there were things that were out of my control and that I couldn't obsess over them. I am trying hard to keep my word and most of the time, I do a decent job of that, but there are moments...

In my gut, my instinct tells me everything will be just fine tomorrow, so where does this doubt come from? Why do I let it get to me? Do I have 7 more months of this to look forward to?

I did have a tinge of brown spotting last night for a few hours and that ramped the anxiety level way up again. Tomorrow cannot come soon enough!

I broke down and bought a bella band this weekend, rather a belly sleeve from Motherhood, and I am in HEAVEN! The bloat has been unreal and even though I haven't gained any weight since transfer, my pants are all way too tight in the belly. I plan to order the "real thing" online this week. What a wonderful invention.

While we were in Motherhood, I decided to ask about a new bra. Some of you may remember that I broke my bra just before beta? Well, I am so glad I decided to ask the girl for some help. She measured me and I have already grown more than a cup size!!! I am usually a C cup and she measured me between a D & an E (their version of DD). I tried them both and the D fit perfectly, but she said there should be a little room to grow so I went with the E. Sean got a kick out of this :) Between the new bra and the bella band, I am so much more comfortable! Oh, and their bras are REALLY affordable which is a nice change of pace for me.

We had a great weekend. We went to 2 movies and lots of going out for dinner and relaxing. Sean cleaned the entire house while I was at work on Sunday. Yes, ladies, he even scrubbed the toilets and the showers! I am in heaven. Last night he got a refresher on how to do laundry because once I started spotting he wouldn't let me run downstairs. I am such a lucky girl!

Symptom Checker - all the same symptoms. The bloat is really, really bad right now!

Hope you all had a lovely weekend. If you have some good thoughts, good vibes and/or extra prayers to send our way, it would be much appreciated. I will update when I can...

P.S. - I voted "2" because Sean & I have each on separate occasions, years apart, by 2 different psychics, been told we would have twins...