Well, hello there!

WOW! Where oh where has the time gone?! Last time I posted, Eliza was just 3 weeks old. Today she is over 3 months old! So much has happened, I hardly even recognize my own life, but before we get into all that, I think the least I can do is post a photo to make up for my absence.

We are officially back in Buffalo and thanks to my amazing husband, our move went incredibly well. Far easier than I ever anticipated. It is wonderful to be home and surrounded by our family and friends. Miss Eliza has had quite the social life since we moved back - meeting all her aunts, uncles & cousins has been joyful, indeed. She has even had the chance to spend some time with my grandma, her 90 year old, GiGi. Our new place is lovely, on the small side, but really nice. We lucked out and are renting from my sister-in-law's sister and it is a perfect arrangement. We plan to be here a year or two before we buy again. After 3 months at home with his girls, Sean started his new job yesterday. We LOVED having him home and feel quite blessed and spoiled to have had the indulgence of so much family time.

It is hard to believe, but one year ago yesterday, was transfer day & our little miracle began her journey to our lives. So much has changed in a year and we never could have imagined how full of love and joy our lives would be. We feel incredibly blessed and lucky to have Eliza in our lives.

Hmmm, so much to fill you in on. Let's see, breastfeeding has been quite a challenge. I have seen 4 different lactation consultants and every supply trick in the book. I will devote an entire post to it, but Eliza has a suck dysfunction - a possible type 4 tongue tie and I have a supply issue, possibly as a result of the suck dysfunction. Her weight gain has been slow, but with lots of pumping, giving her extra ounces of pumped milk & occasionally formula, she is gaining and has finally broke the 11lb mark. She is our tiny little girl.

Speaking of tiny little girls, Libby dislocated her hip again and just recently had surgery to permanently fix it. Poor thing, she has had it rough. She and Eliza are becoming fast friends.

Things Eliza loves at 3 months old:

1. Sleep! Eliza loves her sleep and sleeps a solid 7 hours per night straight and 12 + hours total. She is just like her mommy, daddy and fur-sister Libby. She is a happy, happy baby.

2. Binki - ahhh, heaven!

3. Her swing - girl can take some serious power naps in that thing.

4. Drooling

5. Snuggling - she loves being worn and snuggled close.

6. Baths - especially baths with mommy.

7. Her playmat.

8. Music and singing - she is a big fan of The Farmer in the Dell and the various silly versions Mommy and Daddy invent.

9. Hockey - yep, hockey. She is transfixed when it is on. Our little Sabres fan already. We really should nip this love affair with TV in the bud.

Things Eliza is not a fan of at 4 months:

1. Formula, or at least certain kinds. We need to send the video to America's Funniest.

2. Laying flat on her back - she is a reflux babe.

3. The car and her carseat. Boy, does she ever scream.

As you can see, the list of loves, far outweighs the list of dislikes.

She is happy, happy, happy and almost everyone who meets her comments on how smiley she is. She rolls over, laughs and kicks her feet a mile a minute. How did we ever get so lucky?

3 weeks!!

Where or where has the time gone? I cannot believe my little girl is 3 weeks old today! How life has changed in 3 short weeks. I feel like I have been in a bubble. I can count on one hand the number of times I have been out of the house & I feel completely out of touch with the real world, but that is okay because I am head over heels in love with Eliza.

Eliza Caroline has big feet like her mama and fingers like her daddy. She looks like daddy, but has mommy's nose and profile. She has long eyelashes and huge, almond shaped blue eyes. Her hair is light in front, dark in the back and show some hints of red. I can't believe we made her - she is perfection.




Eliza's favorite things at 3 weeks:
1. being worn in the Moby by mommy or daddy
2. Snuggling up
3. Breastfeeding
4. Sleeping on our chests
5. being naked

Things Eliza dislikes at 3 weeks:
1. swing
2. bouncy seat
3. red lights
4. baths
5. sleeping in the cosleeper

Life is good but has been a blur of breastfeeding, diaper changes, babywearing, sleeping, rinse and repeat. BFing was really, really hard at first, got immensely better week 2 and week 3 is looking like there might be a supply issue as Eliza is still not up to birth weight. So for now, I visit the LC, stay in touch with the pedi, add pumping into the routine, take some fenugreek, go for frequent weight checks, supplement with pumped breast milk whenever possible and an oz of formula here and there. I HATE giving her the lousy ounce of formula and hope that she starts gaining ASAP so we can go back to exclusive breastfeeding. I know how irrational it sounds to hate giving her formula, I know it is helping her and not harming her, but it makes me feel like my body is broken all over again. LC suspects my supply issue could be due to the IVF and/or the postpartum hemorrhage. Hopefully it is easily fixable...

I know I owe you all my birth story, but I really want to do it justice so I am going to start working on it and post it when complete.


As if life has not been overwhelming enough with a newborn baby, we have decided now is the time to make the move back to Buffalo. I know - we are certifiable. Many of my long time readers know this has been on our radar for a loooong time and it has always been a long term goal. Having Eliza put things into perspective for us and when we looked at the big picture - budget, resources, Sean's job, our rental situation etc...it just made sense to pull the trigger and do it. So, we shuffle off to Buffalo on February 19th. Sean quit his job the day we decided and it has been wonderful having him home with us right now. He is handling all things related to the move and doing an amazing job with it - that is saying something coming from a control freak like me. Ask me if I feel the same when the major packing begins! We are kind of flying by the seat of our pants with the whole thing and it is SCARY! I know it is for the best though!

I am feeling good, but I had MAJOR weepyness the first week at home. I cried my eyes out when my mom left and when my inlaws were here, I was a hot mess. I even took the baby and hid in my bedroom one day. They were trying to be helpful, but the type A part of me could not handle it. The decision to move was not helping my emotional state either, but thankfully, the crying jags seem to have passed.

That is about all I have right now, but how about some more pics of the cutest baby I know???

One of the best days of my life!

I'm back! No excuses, just a terrible blogging slump. Life certainly has been eventful in the almost 2 months since I have graced you with my presence. Time continues to fly by and tomorrow I will be 32 weeks pregnant! Can you even believe it? This little one will be here sooner than later, but hopefully right on time.

One of the biggest events in my life in the past few months was my baby shower! I can honestly say it was of the best days of my life - right up there with our wedding day and the day we found out we were pregnant. Sunday could not have been more perfect. My mom, my aunt, my childhood best friend and my mother-in-law were our hostesses and they did an amazing job. Everything was just perfect. The colors were sage green and chocolate brown to match our bedding, which I changed since my last post. I ended up going with Carter's Elephant Stitch bedding and I love it! The food was yummy, the favors were adorable and the cake - oh my goodness - it was the talk of the town! The favors were baby food jars with green and brown M&Ms, wrapped in tulle with green and brown ribbon and a little elephant tag. The centerpieces were mums and everything coordinated beautifully!

We were so blessed by the generosity of our family and friends. Little Ralphie is already one spoiled little babe. It is crazy to look around and have all this baby stuff in my house!!! The nursery furniture will be here a week from Saturday and then we can really get down to business.

Some of the highlights from my shower were the cake, which I really cannot say enough about, and some really touching personal gifts. Sean's Aunt Kathleen in Ireland was famous for her gorgeous baby blankets and sweaters. She was sick with cancer for many years and passed away the day after our wedding almost 6 years ago. Little did we know she had already made us a sweater and blanket and set them aside. Imagine our surprise to open such a beautiful package at our shower. The tears were flowing...The sweater and blanket are just gorgeous. I do not have a good photo of them, but I will try to remember to take a photo and share it. Along those same lines, my Great Aunt Sara has been in failing health for some time, and shortly after our wedding she began making us a gorgeous blanket. She was able to attend the shower, but her health is poor. Her daughter said this blanket is her last. Finally, Amanda who is 29w pregnant and now living in Maine (sniff) was unable to make the trip but it didn't stop her from sending me an amazing package from Piecemeal People. She made me a pair of elephants which match the bedding to a T and an incredible piece which says "hope". It is just amazing and captures perfectly this journey. Many of you may remember that we coined 2009 "The Year of Hope" and so it has been. The addition of "hope" to the nursery could not be more fitting. All in all, I could not have asked for a more special day.

A 32w update:

How am I feeling? Fantastic! An occasional bout of heartburn and some tingling in my hips at night is about all I have to report. BP is great. Feeling very fortunate in this department!

Milestones I am well into my 3rd tri and time is flying. If I were to go into labor now, the baby has a 95% of survival, which is incredibly reassuring. The baby weighs around 4lbs and is about 16in. long! The movement I can see and feel is unreal!

Cravings Milk - drinking a gallon per week. YUM

Aversions - None!!!

What do I miss? Being able to go more than 1 hour without a trip to the bathroom. I tallied my bathroom trips for 24 hrs and I went 17 times!!! Being able to put my socks and shoes on comfortably.

What am I looking forward to? Working on the nursery this weekend! Putting all the baby stuff in its place. Our couple's shower in 2 weeks. Of course, meeting this little one - but not quite yet!

Weight gain - 4lbs at my 30w midwife appt. I was told to start eating more calories so I am working on it. I definitely got my fair share at my shower :)

What do we think we are having? A boy and that seemed to be the general consensus at my shower. We even got a few boy specific gifts and I am not sure why...

Signs of labor? None!!

So, that it is my update. Thank you to those of you who checked in on me during my absence! Hope you are all well.

So much to say

I know, I know, I disappeared again and for a long time. I am so sorry! On an almost daily basis I think about something to blog about, but I never actually sit down to write. I want to, I really do!

We have been pretty busy this summer - weddings, parties, cookouts, traveling to Buffalo etc... We spent the holiday weekend in Buffalo celebrating our Goddaughters' birthday parties and attending a family reunion on my Dad's side. It was a great trip and a wonderful reminder of how much love and support is awaiting this baby. We received some adorable baby gifts. My mom bought some super cute sleepers and onesies and my aunt from Ireland knitted a beautiful blanket and hat. It was exciting to get our first gifts!!! My mom also won one of those small, Fl.ip video cameras at a golf tournament and she gave it to Sean as a Father's Day gift. It is so cool! It is an HD video camera that is the size of a digital camera. Perfect for posting cute videos of the baby! All in all, it was a wonderful weekend and reinforced to us that Buffalo is where we want to raise our family.

Our plan is still to move back home and we are thinking it might be a possibility in about a year or so, but it really depends on Sean's new job and whether or not they can work out way from him to telecommute. Now that my mom is awaiting the birth of her first (and possibly only) grandchild she is anxious for us to come home, or else she said she might have to move here! That would be incredible, but we ultimately want to be back in Buffalo with our entire family.

Speaking of the grandparents, my mom, step dad and Sean's parents have booked their flights to come down for Ralphie's birth!!! Even though it is still months down the line, my Christmas Eve due date really complicates travel arrangements. Sou.thwest had $49 flights and they book really fast due to the holiday, so when they saw available, cheap flights they booked them. They are all going to arrive on 12/23 - one day before my EDD. My in laws are planning to stay one week and my parents are staying two. There is really no way to predict if the baby will come early, late or right on time. We figured at least, they have their tickets and if I go early, they can always exchange them. If I go late, they are already here to celebrate the holiday and if I am right on time - even better! Driving really wasn't an option because Sean's mom hates traveling by car (the women has panic attacks in the car for 20mins, let alone 7 hours) and the weather in December is too unpredictable going through those mountains in PA. I wasn't crazy about my mom driving like a maniac trying to make it in time & running the risk of missing the birth all together if I went fast, they hit bad weather etc... I feel better knowing they have a plan!

In other baby news, Sean & I have started really thinking about our major baby purchases. We spent all day Saturday at Great Beginnings (rated as one of the best baby stores in the country by B.aby Bargains) near DC and it was so much fun. Overwhelming, but fun. The place is HUGE! The furniture showroom was incredible - they must have had 75 nursery sets on the floor. Every name brand and some hard to find ones too. We have narrowed our furniture choices down to two and hope to order in the next two weeks. The salespeople were incredible. They were truly experts in their field. Looking at car seats and strollers was like shopping for a new car - the salespeople were that knowledgeable about the products. Getting close to making a decision there to - I am thinking stroller frame and either the Gra.co Snugride or Chi.cco Keyfit. After seeing the installation demo in store, I am leaning more towards the keyfit at this point. Gender neutral bedding is proving to be difficult and I have a possibility in mind, but want to go look at fabric as well. We are going to register right after our big u/s in a few weeks!

My family has booked my shower for October 25th and it feels like that is going to be here before we know it! I feel like time is flying by now that I am in the 2nd tri and there is so much to do to get ready for this little one's arrival. I can't wait to start pulling it all together!

I am officially 16w4d pregnant and here is a recent rundown.

How am I feeling? Still vomiting. It is less frequent - only once a week or so now, but I wish it would stop for good. I feel like I have more energy, but can still sleep like a champ. I am finally off progesterone and estr.ace and am having massive mood swings. I am not sure if it has anything to do with being off the meds, or if it is just pregnancy, but it has hit me hard. I have been pretty even keeled up until the past few days and now my hormones are all over the place. Mad, sad, angry, happy, giddy...all in the span of a few minutes. Poor Sean!

How do I look? Pregnant. Perhaps I will post a belly pic in coming weeks. My family was surprised how much my belly had changed since Memorial day weekend. I don't feel like my body is changing anywhere else - just a round belly and bigger boobs.

Milestones? I *think* I may have felt movement a few days ago, but I cannot be sure. I was sound asleep and had been laying on my right side for about 6 hours straight. I was just stirring because I had to pee and roll over. As a rolled over to my left side, it felt like something did a huge somersault in my belly. My eyes flew wide open and my hand went right to my belly. I have never felt anything like it, but I haven't felt it since either, so I am really not sure. I am anxious to feel movement more frequently though!

What is Ralphie up to? Growing so big and strong! He or she is the size of an avocado - far cry from my little poppy seed - and weighs almost 4oz. He or she is urinating, has taste buds, is hiccuping, may be sucking its thumb and moving like crazy.

What am I craving? Potbelly Italian Sandwiches - YUM! Subway Veggie Subs.

Aversions? Chicken

What do I miss? Wine. A perfectly chilled glass of white wine on a hot summer's night. A rich pinot noir with a steak fresh off the grill.

What am I looking forward to? More movement, registering, ordering the furniture, and starting the nursery.

Weight gain? Officially, just 1lb. That is according to my OBs scale, but I did not have my first appt with them until 8w and between 4-8w I gained 3-4 lbs. So, unofficially, I am up closer to 5lbs, both me and my OB are fine with it.

What am I reading? What to Expect..., Your Preg. Week by Week, Bab.y Bargains, and Ina May's Guide to Chi.ldbirth.

Speaking of Ina May's book, although I like my OB practice, I am planning on touring a birthing center in the next few weeks. I have always wanted to experience natural childbirth and based on a few of the docs comments, I am not sure how supportive they would be. Additionally, Sean is concerned about how far my OB and the hospital is - almost in hour in no traffic and good weather. The birthing center and the hospital they are affiliated with are only 15 minutes away. I am planning a more detailed post on this topic in the future.

I think that wraps things up - sorry so long, this what happens when it has been 3 weeks since I last updated! Oh! One last thing, please stop by Meinsideout's blog and wish her HUGE congratulations! She is one of the biggest cheerleaders in the blogosphere and she has good news to share. She could also use thoughts, prayers and good vibes that this is her sticky miracle.

Birthday, Baby Clothes and Bleeding. Oh my!

Wow! Just when I say I am going to make an effort to be a better blogger, I disappear for almost 2 weeks. Sorry!

We had a wonderful time in Buffalo visiting with family & friends. In fact, Sean & my parents threw me a surprise party for my 30th birthday. I was truly surprised and had a great time catching up and celebrating with everyone. The party was in my parent's yard - we had tons of yummy picnic food, cake, desserts, games and fun. I told them it is a good thing I am pregnant and totally distracted or I would have totally been on to them! I thought my in-laws were coming over for dinner and spent the first few minutes that guests arrived being very confused and thinking people were being rude for showing up unannounced! HA! They decided against the traditional "surprise" where we walk in and everyone is already there because they didn't think they could pull it off and did not want to give me a heart attack. Instead, they had people all arrive at a certain time - I was certainly surprised! It was wonderful!

I received some really thoughtful gifts including lots of gift cards for a maternity clothes, barnes and noble gift cards, a beautiful sterling silver bracelet engraved with the word "Believe", tickets to the symphony and a gorgeous Blue Topaz pendant - the baby's birthstone - which totally takes my breath away every time I see it.

I never thought 30 would feel so good. It was the best birthday in many, many years. I feel like all of our dreams are coming true...

While we were home, my sister-in-law had me go through all of her maternity clothes. She has had 3 pregnancies & had a ton of clothes in every size and every season. She is a tiny person, so there wasn't a ton that was going to fit, but I took all her XLs and have a decent amount of stuff to go through & try on. She is done having children and had 6 bins of baby clothes set aside for me!!! She has 3 girls and the clothes are amazing! All Gymboree and she has the entire line for each collection - hats, shoes, tights, hair bows etc.... There are HUNDREDS of outfits from 0-18mo. If "Ralphie" is a girl, she is going to be set with clothes for a very long time! There is a decent number of gender neutral sleepers and a few outfits that could work either way. Even if Ralphie is a boy, I am keeping the bins in storage in case girls are in our future because the stuff is just too cute and in too good of shape to get rid of. It is crazy to have bins of baby clothes in my own house in my baby's nursery! She also gave me a few toys and a pack & play to keep at my mom's house. We made out like bandits and are so thankful to Alison for all the goodies!

I was lucky enough to feel fantastic during our entire trip home - Ralphie was really cooperating for me! It was the best I had felt in a few weeks, in fact I thought maybe the ICK and m/s was behind me, I was wrong, but it was nice to feel good for 4 days.

This past week has not been as smooth. I started having some spotting on Friday morning and it lasted on & off all weekend. It seemed to come on first thing in the morning either right after vomiting or right after putting in my suppository. I would get right on the couch, drink my water and it would subside. I was not too concerned because it wasn't heavy and there was no cramping, but it was a little unsettling. My mom made me promise that if I had any more spotting that I would call the OB right away. Monday morning there was another episode so I called and they wanted to see me right away.

The OB did an internal and there was no sign of active bleeding and there was no blood in my urine. My cervix was closed and looked "great." She told me right off that bat that she was sending me to have a u/s "just in case" and that she was going to try to find the hb with the doppler. She warned me that with my retroverted uterus and being a little fluffy in the middle that she may not be able to find it. She told me not to freak out, but that was easier said than done. After an agonizing few minutes, we all breathed a sigh of relief as she located the baby's heartbeat at a strong 161bpm. She said that was a great sign, but that she still wanted to me to go for the u/s. Her two theories are that the supps are irritating my cervix and/or I am rupturing blood vessels when I vomit. JOY!

I was not able to get in for a u/s until yesterday, but it was AMAZING! By far, the coolest one yet. Ralphie was super active and moving around and swimming like a fishy. I could not believe how much the baby was moving! I heard the h/b which is always music to my ears. I could not believe how much Ralphie has grown in just a little more than 2 weeks. Our u/s tech was so thorough and my u/s was so long. I could have stared at that screen all day long! She printed out 5 super cute pics for me to show off to family. The bleeding was scary, but it was almost worth it to get another peek at the baby. Next up, my NT scan in just about a week!

Here are some pics: the first one is a front view of the face. Honestly, it is a little alien like and maybe even a little creepy, but a face mother could love :) I do love the way he seems to be waving or saluting us. The second one is the side profile and just cute as can be! It says "BOY" to me all the way for some reason.

I missed my 9 week summary & since I am 10w6d today, I will do a combined summary.

How am I feeling: It really depends on the day. I am still getting m/s first thing in the am and feeling pretty tired. The nighttime waking to go pee is super annoying!

Milestones: Seeing the baby move like crazy! Oh & turning 30!

What is Ralphie up to? He or she is the size of a small plum this week and measured over 4cm on u/s. Bones are hardening, nails & hair are growing. He or she will respond to poking and prodding.

What am I craving? Oranges, cucumbers, chocolate milk.

Aversions: Nothing recently

What do I miss: Still missing my sex drive. Last seen sometime in early April. Hoping to have sex sometime in the next few weeks...

Quotes of the week: 1. said at my party by a family friend, "I think now that you have gotten pregnant, you aren't going to need IVF anymore. It happens all the time, you know. When the baby comes you won't have time to focus on getting pregnant and it will just happen. You never know!" I tried to explain that me being pregnant has no impact on Sean's sperm count, but about half way through I just decided to save my breath... #2 said by none other than MY HUSBAND! "I think you are talking yourself into throwing up, it's mind over matter!" Seriously??? Because I enjoy gagging and dry heaving and throwing up bile for 5 minutes straight! He is in the dog house!

A week from today is my last day of tutoring for the school year. It is a busy time - exams start tomorrow! Next Thursday, Sean & I leave for Dewey Beach for 5 days and when we come back I start my summer tutoring. I am excited for the beach and looking forward to some r&r, sunshine and shopping!

I cannot believe the school year is over and June is here. Time is flying! C'mon 2nd tri!

Slacker

I have been a terrible blogger lately and I apologize to everyone. Not only have I been a slacker about posting, but I am way behind on my reading and commenting too! I blame "Ralphie" for my new found slackerdom. I wish I could say my laziness was limited to my blogging, but I have been pretty useless across the board. Thank goodness my husband rocks! He is becoming quite the house husband ;)

Last Friday morning and we had our first OB appt. I have always loved my doc, but I had no idea how different it is when you are a pregnant patient. They really rolled out the red carpet. I met a doc I had not seen before and he was great. He was thorough and patient and candid. The appt started with some basic health questions and an internal exam with pap. Then, I got dressed and we had a sit down in the office where he went through all kinds of info and answered our questions. He told me to call whenever I have a question or concern. He recognized how much we have been through and said worrying is 100% normal. He is pretty laid back about things like lunch meat and soft cheese, but he did stress that the soft cheese has to be pasturized. He also told us that the FDA recommendation for EVERYONE is to heat lunch meat before consumption and obviously not many people do that. He joked that he has never seen a patient die from a deli sandwich and moderation is the key. I have not wanted deli meat, so it has been a non-issue so far, but I did have a chicken finger sub last night smothered in blue cheese and it was sooooooooo good. Anyway, I our appt was great and we head back on June 4th. The only downside is that insurance does not cover u/s @ the office so I had to schedule one off site on Monday. See the wrap up below for details!

In spite of the fact that I am 9w2d pregnant, I am going to devote this post to the 8 week wrap up.

How am I feeling? Not so good. After a long weekend of feeling AWFUL - exhausted, queasy and YUCKY overall, on Tuesday morning @ 8w4d, I started vomiting. Luckily, it has not been too bad. It is averaging every other day and only in the morning as soon as I get out of the shower. The good news is that on the days that I get sick, I feel great the rest of the day.

Milestones of the week: There have been a few this week. My first ob appt, u/s and hearing the heartbeat. The u/s was AMAZING! Ralphie has grown so much in just 2 weeks. He was really starting to look like a baby. Sean got to see the baby move its arms and we got to hear the heartbeat for the first time. It was 171bpm and the most beautiful sound we have ever heard. The tears started running and just wouldn't stop. It was incredible. I think a doppler is in my future, because I could listen to that sound all day long.

What is Ralphie up to? He or she is the size of a kidney bean and has webbed fingers and toes and is constantly moving around.

What am I craving? Carbs, lots and lots of carbs.

Aversions: Anything can set me off to feeling awful without warning.

Weight Gain: +3 total. OB wants me to limit my weight gain to 15-20 max, so I am going to have to be careful. Right now though, if something sounds good and tastes good, I eat it.

Discovery of the week: Motherhood Maternity Secret Belly capris. Yes, I broke down and bought a pair and I looooove them. The bella band works with most of my pants and jeans, but for some reason, it did not work out with my jean capris and those are a staple of my wardrobe so I had to find a solution. I am also looking quite plump in regular shirts so I bought some cute ruched tops at Motherhood that don't look maternity at all, but don't make me look quite so fat because they don't cling to the belly in all the wrong places.

What do I miss? My sex drive :(

All in all, it was a great week! We decided to head up to Buffalo for the holiday weekend and to celebrate my 30th birthday and my Mom's birthday. The drive was good and we are enjoying ourselves. I will be sure to do my 9 week update sooner than later and try to be a better blogger! Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend!

Finally, some pics from our u/s. The first one is the side view and the head is pointed down and the feet are curled up at the top. The 2nd one is the front view and you can see both arms and legs in this shot. I am so in love!!!

FET Madness Day 5

Nothing too crazy going on. 4 doses of Estrace down and I was not having any side effects until last night when I woke up soaked to the bone. Ahhh...night sweats. Lovely.

We had a delightful weekend - fun, friends, food and relaxing. I maxed out on caffeine, spl.enda, red wine, sodium and nitrates. I probably gained 5lbs! I am back on the straight and narrow and off all the bad stuff - I am 5 days pregnant after all and wouldn't want to harm the frosties! Still my goal to be down 20lbs before transfer, so I've got some work to do.

The kids I tutor for are done with Spring Break, so it is back to regularly scheduled programming for me. I was really loving being home in the evenings with Sean - it is such a foreign concept to us. He has always worked super long days and would rarely get home before 9:30 and I usually tutor until around 9 myself. With spring break and Sean's new work schedule, we were beside ourselves! Oh well, only 3 more months of school and then on to summer schedule tutoring.

We are likely heading to Buffalo this weekend. Sean's oldest sister is having half of her colon removed on the 31st and the whole family is pretty stressed and nervous. We would like to spend some quality time with everyone before the surgery. We are praying for a good outcome and a speedy recovery for her!

Trying to focus on all positive things right now! I am so happy Spring is here and am anxiously awaiting warmer weather, flip flops and capris! The next month should fly by - we have a lot going on - Buffalo, transfer, family visiting for Easter, hopefully a BFP... (a girl can dream, can't she?)

Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend!

Shufflin' off to...

BUFFALO!

I have been leading you on for weeks about a big life change, but I haven't been quite ready to put it out there. I think my title kind of gives it away, but first, a little background...

Sean & I were both born & raised in Buffalo, NY and our entire family is up there. I came to MD in 1997 for college and we stayed. In 2003, we decided we would like to move back to Buffalo. We were getting married in August of 2004 and hoped to move by then. Sean's CEO agreed and the plan was for Sean to telecommute and eventually open his own branch of the company in the area. We decided to build our dream home 3 miles from my parents. We absolutely loved being back and could not have been happier - God, I loved that house. We had been in our home for just 6 months, when Sean was offered a promotion that was just too good to pass over. We put the house on the market & packed up and moved back to Maryland. The promotion wasn't what it was supposed to be and Sean was really unhappy and frustrated for awhile. He even left the company for a little while to pursue opening his own business. Ultimately, the current economy dictated that it just was not a good time for risky ventures and Sean returned to his old company in a new capacity. While he has been happier, we have never been able to shake the feeling that we should be back in Buffalo.

With all that said, we have decided that the time has come to leave Maryland and move home once more. We no longer own a home here and in some ways it is the perfect time to do it. Although taxes are high in NY, cost of living is much lower than it is here in MD. Housing is so much more affordable and being close to family is priceless. Sean's Dad's cancer diagnosis this summer really got the wheels turning for both of us. We know that when we have children, we want them to grow up close to their grandparents & extended family. We have a HUGE family waiting for us and we feel like we miss out on so much. Although we try to get home as often as possible, it is still not the same & travelling over the holidays is stressful!

We are not moving any time soon. In fact, it is more of a 1-2 year plan. We have decided on a price range for a home and are saving aggressively for a down payment. We are also putting extra money away in the event that this FET is a bust and we need to do IVF #4. We have really buckled down and are cutting back where ever and when ever we can.

Sean has communicated to his CEO that moving back to Buffalo is the plan and he is 100% supportive of that and even commented that it was a mistake for him to have ever asked us to give it up in the first place. Sean will remain with the company and work from home. I have not told the family that I tutor for yet, because it may be a non-issue. Robert graduates from high school next June and Michaella will be in 10th grade and has never needed the level of support that Robert has. Although I love my job and the kids are like family to me, it is not a reason to stay here. In this age of technology, there is nothing to say that I could not work with Michaella via chat if I had to; I certainly know the curriculum well by this point. I think the family will be supportive.

We have not told our families yet and probably won't for a little while. We would like to be able to tell them in person and also have a clearer time line in place. We still need to figure out which towns and neighborhoods are most appealing to us. Our families have been through so much with us, we want to tell them in person and be able to have concrete details to share.

So, that my friends, is my big news! It is a little scary to being doing this all over again, but I know in my heart it is the right thing for us and our families. I am glad it is not happening immediately though. I want the time to save and plan and figure things out. It will be here soon enough! Thank you for all your support and positive thoughts over the past few weeks! As always, it means a great deal to me!

In IF news, my endo biopsy results are in and they are normal! Pretty much what I expected, although it is always nice to have answers. Now we are back at square one. They did recheck my prolactin and now it is a little low -only 2- it should be over 3. It went from too high to too low. Dr. P had me stop the meds and will recheck it in 3 weeks. I hate taking meds that I don't have too, so that is fine with me. Today is cycle day 1, but we decided not to do my FET. I am going to take this month off, keeping losing weight and give my body a break from the meds. I should start my FET right around St. Patrick's Day - may the luck o' the Irish be with us!