Birthday, Baby Clothes and Bleeding. Oh my!

Wow! Just when I say I am going to make an effort to be a better blogger, I disappear for almost 2 weeks. Sorry!

We had a wonderful time in Buffalo visiting with family & friends. In fact, Sean & my parents threw me a surprise party for my 30th birthday. I was truly surprised and had a great time catching up and celebrating with everyone. The party was in my parent's yard - we had tons of yummy picnic food, cake, desserts, games and fun. I told them it is a good thing I am pregnant and totally distracted or I would have totally been on to them! I thought my in-laws were coming over for dinner and spent the first few minutes that guests arrived being very confused and thinking people were being rude for showing up unannounced! HA! They decided against the traditional "surprise" where we walk in and everyone is already there because they didn't think they could pull it off and did not want to give me a heart attack. Instead, they had people all arrive at a certain time - I was certainly surprised! It was wonderful!

I received some really thoughtful gifts including lots of gift cards for a maternity clothes, barnes and noble gift cards, a beautiful sterling silver bracelet engraved with the word "Believe", tickets to the symphony and a gorgeous Blue Topaz pendant - the baby's birthstone - which totally takes my breath away every time I see it.

I never thought 30 would feel so good. It was the best birthday in many, many years. I feel like all of our dreams are coming true...

While we were home, my sister-in-law had me go through all of her maternity clothes. She has had 3 pregnancies & had a ton of clothes in every size and every season. She is a tiny person, so there wasn't a ton that was going to fit, but I took all her XLs and have a decent amount of stuff to go through & try on. She is done having children and had 6 bins of baby clothes set aside for me!!! She has 3 girls and the clothes are amazing! All Gymboree and she has the entire line for each collection - hats, shoes, tights, hair bows etc.... There are HUNDREDS of outfits from 0-18mo. If "Ralphie" is a girl, she is going to be set with clothes for a very long time! There is a decent number of gender neutral sleepers and a few outfits that could work either way. Even if Ralphie is a boy, I am keeping the bins in storage in case girls are in our future because the stuff is just too cute and in too good of shape to get rid of. It is crazy to have bins of baby clothes in my own house in my baby's nursery! She also gave me a few toys and a pack & play to keep at my mom's house. We made out like bandits and are so thankful to Alison for all the goodies!

I was lucky enough to feel fantastic during our entire trip home - Ralphie was really cooperating for me! It was the best I had felt in a few weeks, in fact I thought maybe the ICK and m/s was behind me, I was wrong, but it was nice to feel good for 4 days.

This past week has not been as smooth. I started having some spotting on Friday morning and it lasted on & off all weekend. It seemed to come on first thing in the morning either right after vomiting or right after putting in my suppository. I would get right on the couch, drink my water and it would subside. I was not too concerned because it wasn't heavy and there was no cramping, but it was a little unsettling. My mom made me promise that if I had any more spotting that I would call the OB right away. Monday morning there was another episode so I called and they wanted to see me right away.

The OB did an internal and there was no sign of active bleeding and there was no blood in my urine. My cervix was closed and looked "great." She told me right off that bat that she was sending me to have a u/s "just in case" and that she was going to try to find the hb with the doppler. She warned me that with my retroverted uterus and being a little fluffy in the middle that she may not be able to find it. She told me not to freak out, but that was easier said than done. After an agonizing few minutes, we all breathed a sigh of relief as she located the baby's heartbeat at a strong 161bpm. She said that was a great sign, but that she still wanted to me to go for the u/s. Her two theories are that the supps are irritating my cervix and/or I am rupturing blood vessels when I vomit. JOY!

I was not able to get in for a u/s until yesterday, but it was AMAZING! By far, the coolest one yet. Ralphie was super active and moving around and swimming like a fishy. I could not believe how much the baby was moving! I heard the h/b which is always music to my ears. I could not believe how much Ralphie has grown in just a little more than 2 weeks. Our u/s tech was so thorough and my u/s was so long. I could have stared at that screen all day long! She printed out 5 super cute pics for me to show off to family. The bleeding was scary, but it was almost worth it to get another peek at the baby. Next up, my NT scan in just about a week!

Here are some pics: the first one is a front view of the face. Honestly, it is a little alien like and maybe even a little creepy, but a face mother could love :) I do love the way he seems to be waving or saluting us. The second one is the side profile and just cute as can be! It says "BOY" to me all the way for some reason.

I missed my 9 week summary & since I am 10w6d today, I will do a combined summary.

How am I feeling: It really depends on the day. I am still getting m/s first thing in the am and feeling pretty tired. The nighttime waking to go pee is super annoying!

Milestones: Seeing the baby move like crazy! Oh & turning 30!

What is Ralphie up to? He or she is the size of a small plum this week and measured over 4cm on u/s. Bones are hardening, nails & hair are growing. He or she will respond to poking and prodding.

What am I craving? Oranges, cucumbers, chocolate milk.

Aversions: Nothing recently

What do I miss: Still missing my sex drive. Last seen sometime in early April. Hoping to have sex sometime in the next few weeks...

Quotes of the week: 1. said at my party by a family friend, "I think now that you have gotten pregnant, you aren't going to need IVF anymore. It happens all the time, you know. When the baby comes you won't have time to focus on getting pregnant and it will just happen. You never know!" I tried to explain that me being pregnant has no impact on Sean's sperm count, but about half way through I just decided to save my breath... #2 said by none other than MY HUSBAND! "I think you are talking yourself into throwing up, it's mind over matter!" Seriously??? Because I enjoy gagging and dry heaving and throwing up bile for 5 minutes straight! He is in the dog house!

A week from today is my last day of tutoring for the school year. It is a busy time - exams start tomorrow! Next Thursday, Sean & I leave for Dewey Beach for 5 days and when we come back I start my summer tutoring. I am excited for the beach and looking forward to some r&r, sunshine and shopping!

I cannot believe the school year is over and June is here. Time is flying! C'mon 2nd tri!

Update & Thank You!

Well, the bleeding subsided over the course of the evening and by time I went to bed there was only pink spotting when I wiped. I slept through the night and when I woke up, there was nothing in my liner and only a tinge of brown when I when to the bathroom & nothing since. I am still taking it very easy today and Sean is working from home so I can stay on the couch and not worry about taking care of Libby or getting up to get food and such. I am feeling better and more at ease.

Now, I have a dilemma. I called the RE this morning to update them and ask about an early u/s. The nurse spoke to Dr. P and he agreed to move it up to Friday - 6w1d - but warned me that I was on the cusp of being able to see a hb. The earliest they would typically do one is 6w2d. If I go ahead with it & they do not see a hb, they would make me wait another full WEEK before doing a repeat u/s. So, I can take a chance and do it Friday and possibly be even more of a wreck for a week, or I can wait until Tuesday for a definitive answer. I just don't know what to do. Sean really wants to wait it out until Tuesday because he is afraid 6w1d is too early. I would love to hear your feedback and experiences on doing an early u/s.

Finally, a heartfelt thank you to each & every one of you. Your stories, feedback & encouragement means the world to be. Yesterday was a dark and anxiety filled day, but your words were a bright spot. It really helped me keep perspective on the situation. So many of you have gone through the same thing and have had wonderful outcomes. Thank you!

Scared & anxious

A few minutes after posting my last post, I was having some period like cramping - different than I have been having. A few minutes later, I went to the bathroom and immediately noticed some pink spotting in my panties. When I wiped there was bright red blood with tiny bits of clots. I immediately burst into tears and began rushing around calling my RE, Sean & my mom.

Dr. P called me right back and started off by asking how much blood and cramping. I told him everything and he said that I needed to go on strict bed rest & stay there until bleeding stops. He said to drinks lots of fluid and to call back if the bleeding increases to more than a period and/or if I am in extreme pain. He said it is normal - 2 out of 3 women have some bleeding in the 1st tri- and that it doesn't mean that I am at increased risk. He restated that my blood work looked great this morning & that I should try to calm down. I asked about coming in for an early u/s and he said unless there is a compelling reason, he really wants to avoid irritating the uterus right now, he also wants to avoid unnecessary anxiety.

If and when the bleeding subsides, I may push to move my u/s up to Friday for some peace of mind.

Sean came home right away and I have calmed down a bit. I went to the bathroom a few minutes ago and there was no blood on the liner, but when I wiped there was still pink spotting. I would describe it as more than spotting, less than a period, kind of like the 1st day of AF before full flow.

I am a nervous wreck. All my hope and optimism went right out the window as soon as I saw red. I am trying to stay calm, I am trying to remember that this can be normal, but I am scared to death.

Please, oh please hang on little one. Please don't take this little miracle away from us...