Two Tickets to Paradise...and pics :)

Whew! What a weekend! Friday was an absolutely wonderful day. We started the day with our level 2 ultrasound and it was amazing! Ralphie was not being overly cooperative and seemed to be having a good time hiding out behind my belly button making it difficult for the tech to get all the images she needed. She did capture some really cute images for us, but I am not sure she was able to get everything she needed of the heart and digestive tract. She said she would leave it up to the OB to decide if he needs to see more. The u/s lasted about 45 min and it was pure joy for us. She was able to go back and forth between 3D images and regular images at the click of a button, so that was pretty cool. Everything looked great to us, but what the heck do we know? I will feel assume that is the case unless I hear differently! Now for some cute pics!


These are totally Sean's legs and my BIG feet! Sean sits like this all the time. My mom said they look like boy legs all the way, and toddler legs at that. In the picture on the right, my little trouble maker appears to be giving the world the finger! Too funny! The whole room was laughing.

After our u/s we went to our favorite place for a yummy breakfast, then we headed home to freshen up. I was excited to see what my sweet hubby had in store. We had decided that we would not buy gifts this year, but we always do cards. Sean suggested we exchange cards before heading out for the afternoon. My first card was a sweet and romantic one, but the second was one of those sound cards and when I opened it, it was playing "Two Tickets to Paradise", I was laughing because I had been singing that all morning in the shower for some reason.

At this point, Sean completely shocks me by announcing that he has planned a vacation for us as an anniversary/babymoon trip. Actually, he knows what a control freak I am, so he had a few different options planned out and let me have some input on the final decision and I am really thankful that he did that.

Our options were: #1- a 9 night Caribbean cruise that went to San Juan, Dominican Republic, a private island and St. Thomas. #2 - a 7 night Bahamas/Grand Turk cruise. #3 - an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean. Sean was leaning towards option #1 since it was the longest trip and best value.

So which of these amazing vacations did I choose? None of the above. I know, I am a pain in the ass! Ungrateful even! Hear me out though. We have been on a cruise before and I found it to be an ok experience. I neither loved nor hated it as far as vacations go. My biggest concern was being on a ship in the middle of the Atlantic and needing medical attention beyond what the ship infirmary could provide. The cruise lines have very strict rules about pregnant women cruising and 23w is the cut off. We would be setting sail at 23w exactly and that was ok with permission from my OB.

I called the doctor's office and they said a cruise was fine, but to be advised that I was putting myself at increased risk of H1N1 and other illnesses because of the close quarters of a cruise environment. That kind of sealed the deal for me. I know the odds of something happening are slim, but also not out of the realm of possibility and I really was not comfortable being so far from modern medical care. Things like overheating and dehydration can happen so easily at this stage of pregnancy and though they are simple to treat, they can also require fetal monitoring and testing.

I felt much the same about an all inclusive resort on an island. Slightly better than a cruise, but not exactly state of the art medical facilities in the event of an emergency. So I apologized profusely to my hubby who had spent days and weeks researching options. He completely understood and said that is why he did not just go ahead and book something without my feedback. We put our heads together and came up with a compromise and found a pretty amazing deal in the long run.

We leave in 12 days for Key Biscayne, Florida. It is a small island just outside Miami and just what we are looking for - sun, sand, pool, spa, & relaxation. We are spending 7 days being pampered and spoiled by the ladies and gentlemen of The Ritz Carlton resort. We have vacationed at other Ritz locations and it is always an incredible experience. I really cannot wait! Our flight was CHEAP and the deal at the resort was really unbeatable - our breakfast, valet parking, & internet are all included daily, we got 2 nights free and a complimentary oceanfront room upgrade. Food can definitely get pricey so we plan to head to a grocery store and stock up on water, soda, snacks, fruit, etc... We even got a heck of a deal on a rental car. We may head into Miami for a day of shopping or dining, but we plan to mostly relax, relax, relax! It may not be exactly what Sean was originally thinking but I don't think it could have worked out any better. Now we just need to hope for great weather and NO hurricanes!

Do I have an amazing husband or what??? We spent the rest of the day on Friday playing tourist in our own city and then had a yummy dinner at a new steakhouse. The rest of the weekend was busy, but nice!

Now for a 20w1d belly pic and a pregnancy update!

How am I feeling? Dare I say, great?!?! I really do feel good for the first time in months.

How do I look? Pregnant! I feel really good in my own skin though and I definitely think I have lost weight everywhere but my belly. Not a great pic of me - it is so awkward to take belly pics!


Milestones? I am more than 1/2 way!!! Sean was able to feel the baby from the outside over the weekend and I am so happy that he can finally experience it. Movement felt from the outside is so weird!

Cravings? None recently

Aversions? Chicken

What do I miss? Nothing this week - feeling very content and grateful.

What am I looking forward to? Vacation and quality time with Sean. Registering - hopefully this weekend!

Weight Gain? Down five from the flu, but seem to be back to my pre-flu weight. The OBs scale showed no weight gain last month.

What do we think we are having? My gut feeling? A BOY! I will be in shock if this is a little girl.

I haven't stopped smiling in days. Feeling so very blessed and lucky...

20w & Big U/S Tomorrow!

Tomorrow is a big day - it is our 5 year wedding anniversary and our big ultrasound! We are staying Team Green, so no big announcements tomorrow, but we are so excited to see our little Ralphie in the morning.

I am 20w today and it is crazy to think that we are halfway through this pregnancy! What a milestone!

We both took the day off tomorrow and Sean has all kinds of plans that I am not privy to yet. He did send me a lovely bouquet of daisies today - the official flower of 5 year anniversaries apparently :) He is the sweetest!

I am feeling pretty close to 100% - thanks for all the care and concern. I think I might still be in rehydration mode though - very thirsty!

Despite my excitement about tomorrow, it cannot erase the sadness and grief I feel for Mo & Will.

How incredibly unfair & devastating. Please visit and lend some support.

Slacker

I have been a terrible blogger lately and I apologize to everyone. Not only have I been a slacker about posting, but I am way behind on my reading and commenting too! I blame "Ralphie" for my new found slackerdom. I wish I could say my laziness was limited to my blogging, but I have been pretty useless across the board. Thank goodness my husband rocks! He is becoming quite the house husband ;)

Last Friday morning and we had our first OB appt. I have always loved my doc, but I had no idea how different it is when you are a pregnant patient. They really rolled out the red carpet. I met a doc I had not seen before and he was great. He was thorough and patient and candid. The appt started with some basic health questions and an internal exam with pap. Then, I got dressed and we had a sit down in the office where he went through all kinds of info and answered our questions. He told me to call whenever I have a question or concern. He recognized how much we have been through and said worrying is 100% normal. He is pretty laid back about things like lunch meat and soft cheese, but he did stress that the soft cheese has to be pasturized. He also told us that the FDA recommendation for EVERYONE is to heat lunch meat before consumption and obviously not many people do that. He joked that he has never seen a patient die from a deli sandwich and moderation is the key. I have not wanted deli meat, so it has been a non-issue so far, but I did have a chicken finger sub last night smothered in blue cheese and it was sooooooooo good. Anyway, I our appt was great and we head back on June 4th. The only downside is that insurance does not cover u/s @ the office so I had to schedule one off site on Monday. See the wrap up below for details!

In spite of the fact that I am 9w2d pregnant, I am going to devote this post to the 8 week wrap up.

How am I feeling? Not so good. After a long weekend of feeling AWFUL - exhausted, queasy and YUCKY overall, on Tuesday morning @ 8w4d, I started vomiting. Luckily, it has not been too bad. It is averaging every other day and only in the morning as soon as I get out of the shower. The good news is that on the days that I get sick, I feel great the rest of the day.

Milestones of the week: There have been a few this week. My first ob appt, u/s and hearing the heartbeat. The u/s was AMAZING! Ralphie has grown so much in just 2 weeks. He was really starting to look like a baby. Sean got to see the baby move its arms and we got to hear the heartbeat for the first time. It was 171bpm and the most beautiful sound we have ever heard. The tears started running and just wouldn't stop. It was incredible. I think a doppler is in my future, because I could listen to that sound all day long.

What is Ralphie up to? He or she is the size of a kidney bean and has webbed fingers and toes and is constantly moving around.

What am I craving? Carbs, lots and lots of carbs.

Aversions: Anything can set me off to feeling awful without warning.

Weight Gain: +3 total. OB wants me to limit my weight gain to 15-20 max, so I am going to have to be careful. Right now though, if something sounds good and tastes good, I eat it.

Discovery of the week: Motherhood Maternity Secret Belly capris. Yes, I broke down and bought a pair and I looooove them. The bella band works with most of my pants and jeans, but for some reason, it did not work out with my jean capris and those are a staple of my wardrobe so I had to find a solution. I am also looking quite plump in regular shirts so I bought some cute ruched tops at Motherhood that don't look maternity at all, but don't make me look quite so fat because they don't cling to the belly in all the wrong places.

What do I miss? My sex drive :(

All in all, it was a great week! We decided to head up to Buffalo for the holiday weekend and to celebrate my 30th birthday and my Mom's birthday. The drive was good and we are enjoying ourselves. I will be sure to do my 9 week update sooner than later and try to be a better blogger! Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend!

Finally, some pics from our u/s. The first one is the side view and the head is pointed down and the feet are curled up at the top. The 2nd one is the front view and you can see both arms and legs in this shot. I am so in love!!!

'Twas the night before u/s...

and Emily's anxiety level is sky high! I can't believe how volatile my emotional state is right now. One minute I am sitting here in my bella band, reading my pregnancy books, browsing baby sites feeling 100% like a normal, naive, confident pregnant woman. The next minute, I am freaking out, questioning my symptoms, thinking about the bleeding episode and doubting that we will hear good news tomorrow. This sucks!

I asked Amanda if she felt this way when she was pregnant and she said no. She just assumed everything was fine and going according to plan. She commented about how much she thinks infertility has stolen from me and how it doesn't end when you are finally pregnant and she is 100% right. I think I am pretty calm and "normal" about this pregnancy and then I get close to a blood draw or have some spotting or get ready for my u/s and I am a mess! This is not what normal women go through! In some ways, I guess women who suffer with IF just know too much. We have seen too much heartbreak to relax and go with the flow.

I said from day 1 that I was going to try to enjoy every second of this pregnancy. I said I knew there were things that were out of my control and that I couldn't obsess over them. I am trying hard to keep my word and most of the time, I do a decent job of that, but there are moments...

In my gut, my instinct tells me everything will be just fine tomorrow, so where does this doubt come from? Why do I let it get to me? Do I have 7 more months of this to look forward to?

I did have a tinge of brown spotting last night for a few hours and that ramped the anxiety level way up again. Tomorrow cannot come soon enough!

I broke down and bought a bella band this weekend, rather a belly sleeve from Motherhood, and I am in HEAVEN! The bloat has been unreal and even though I haven't gained any weight since transfer, my pants are all way too tight in the belly. I plan to order the "real thing" online this week. What a wonderful invention.

While we were in Motherhood, I decided to ask about a new bra. Some of you may remember that I broke my bra just before beta? Well, I am so glad I decided to ask the girl for some help. She measured me and I have already grown more than a cup size!!! I am usually a C cup and she measured me between a D & an E (their version of DD). I tried them both and the D fit perfectly, but she said there should be a little room to grow so I went with the E. Sean got a kick out of this :) Between the new bra and the bella band, I am so much more comfortable! Oh, and their bras are REALLY affordable which is a nice change of pace for me.

We had a great weekend. We went to 2 movies and lots of going out for dinner and relaxing. Sean cleaned the entire house while I was at work on Sunday. Yes, ladies, he even scrubbed the toilets and the showers! I am in heaven. Last night he got a refresher on how to do laundry because once I started spotting he wouldn't let me run downstairs. I am such a lucky girl!

Symptom Checker - all the same symptoms. The bloat is really, really bad right now!

Hope you all had a lovely weekend. If you have some good thoughts, good vibes and/or extra prayers to send our way, it would be much appreciated. I will update when I can...

P.S. - I voted "2" because Sean & I have each on separate occasions, years apart, by 2 different psychics, been told we would have twins...

Update & Thank You!

Well, the bleeding subsided over the course of the evening and by time I went to bed there was only pink spotting when I wiped. I slept through the night and when I woke up, there was nothing in my liner and only a tinge of brown when I when to the bathroom & nothing since. I am still taking it very easy today and Sean is working from home so I can stay on the couch and not worry about taking care of Libby or getting up to get food and such. I am feeling better and more at ease.

Now, I have a dilemma. I called the RE this morning to update them and ask about an early u/s. The nurse spoke to Dr. P and he agreed to move it up to Friday - 6w1d - but warned me that I was on the cusp of being able to see a hb. The earliest they would typically do one is 6w2d. If I go ahead with it & they do not see a hb, they would make me wait another full WEEK before doing a repeat u/s. So, I can take a chance and do it Friday and possibly be even more of a wreck for a week, or I can wait until Tuesday for a definitive answer. I just don't know what to do. Sean really wants to wait it out until Tuesday because he is afraid 6w1d is too early. I would love to hear your feedback and experiences on doing an early u/s.

Finally, a heartfelt thank you to each & every one of you. Your stories, feedback & encouragement means the world to be. Yesterday was a dark and anxiety filled day, but your words were a bright spot. It really helped me keep perspective on the situation. So many of you have gone through the same thing and have had wonderful outcomes. Thank you!