No Expectations

For the first time in many years I am looking forward to the New Year with no expectations. It's hard to believe, but it is true. I have plenty of hopes and dreams for 2009, but I am so over expecting any one outcome. These past few years have taught me there are just no guarantees for anything in life. People get cancer, people get sick, sometimes they heal and sometimes they don't, cycles fail, businesses fail, economies collapse, people die, there is birth, there is death, women miscarry, couples divorce, miracles happen, there is prosperity, there are hard times, holidays come and go, the seasons change, people lose their jobs, lose their homes, people land the job of a lifetime, build their dream home, move, buy, sell, lose weight, gain weight, there are storms and catastrophes, friends are made, friends are lost, life goes on...

2008 was a hard year for us and many of you. I can't pretend to know what 2009 will bring, but it is foolish to believe it will all be better just because it is a new year.

I am ready to put 2008 behind me and welcome in 2009, but I refuse to put a mountain of expectations upon it. I have learned the hard way and had my heartbroken too many times. I have spent too much time doing 'fertility math' and thinking when this happens or that happens I will be pg, have a 'x' month old, etc...

A new year is a wonderful new beginning, full of hope, but it is in no way a cure all. 2009 will arrive and I will still be infertile, Sean's dad will still have cancer, life will go on. A new year is not a guarantee that this will be "my year." I hope it will, I pray for it, I dream about it, but I no longer expect it.

Happy New Year my friends! May 2009 be a blessed year for you and your families. May your hopes and dreams come true!