Saturday, May 17, 2008

That is NOT a Good BINGO

It's official, IVF#2 failed. I retested this morning and it was a BFN - yes, white as Sean's ass in the winter.

My BFP was nothing more than the last of the HCG booster shots. I am not sorry I tested because it did give me the hope I needed to get through a few days.

I am kind of numb. I really haven't shed many tears and I feel ok. I knew all along that this cycle did not work.

I feel like our chances at a biological child are slipping away. IVF is our only option and it has already failed us twice.

I will schedule a WTF appointment and we need to seriously evaluate our next steps. I think a break and a vacation are in order.

Can't wait for my period to arrive. Post IVF AF is horrendous and a painful reminder of just how badly my body has failed me...

11 comments:

Lisa said...

I'm so sorry. That happened in my last IVF - I got a BFP when the trigger should have been gone and the next day, stark white. It sucks and I'm sorry you're going through it.

Jill said...

I truly am so sorry you're going through this again. It's just not fair. I'm keeping you and Sean in my prayers. ((Huge hugs))

Jill said...

Em, I am just so sorry that you are going through all of this. I hope that you get some answers (or at least next steps) at your appointment. ((((BIG HUGS))))

sarah23 said...

Oh, I am SO SO sorry to read this. I hope that you get some answers (or possible solutions) at your upcoming appointment.

Busted said...

I'm so sorry sweetie.

M. said...

Oh Emily... I'm so sorry. I was really hoping it worked this cycle. This sucks-- I'm sending you a virtual hug.

Maria (MKC101103) said...

I'm so sorry Emily. I was so hopeful for you.

Jen said...

I am so sorry. :(
So awful and unfair.

Katie said...

So, so sorry. Someday, somehow, you will be a mom. It might not be exactly how you imagined it, but it will happen. And when you look back on all of this one day, you will never imagine it happening any other way. Peace to you!!!

Amber said...

I just found your blog - thanks for having me. I am so sorry about your BFN. I had the exact same tease-BFP with my IVF cycle (the line even got darker on day 2). It was nice to feel hopeful for a few days, though.

Anyway, hope you're hanging in there...

M. said...

Oh shit. I'm so sorry, Emily :( And I'm sorry I missed all of this-- I accidentally listed your blog under an old post "part deux" and every time I checked your blog, it was on the post. I just thought you weren't posting. In reality, you've been posting about really hard things and I wish I had known so that I could send e-hugs to you. ::::running to change my link to your blog!::::