Wednesday, April 22, 2009

100th Post!

Amazed. Joyful. Grateful. In awe. Happy. Smiling. Hopeful. Pregnant...

I have not felt this way in so very long. I cannot stop smiling, I cannot believe this is my life. There were days I thought this might never happen, that I might never feel such sheer joy ever again. I never want this feeling to end.

I know it is early, I know anything can still happen, but I am committed to enjoying each & every day of this pregnancy. There are things that are beyond my control, but I can't obsess over them. This is further than I have ever been before and for today, that is enough.

This is my 100th post & so much has happened in the last year and a half. There were some dark and bitter moments along the way & some glimmers of hope too.

It is amazing how much your life can change in just one week with just one phone call...

I can't even comprehend how much I already love this little baby growing inside of me. Can you believe that at just 4 weeks and 6 days, just 20 short little days of life, there is another heart beating inside of my own? It astounds me every time I think about it. I love that my baby's heart began beating today - the day of my 100th post - such a milestone on this long and painful journey.

When I began blogging I never imagined how much lay ahead of me - how many stories would move me to joyful tears or heartbreaking sobs, how many women would inspire me and root for me, how I would care so deeply for so many families I have never even met, how many friends I would make a long the way, or how much pain & heart break was would come with every failed cycle and mostly, I never could have imagined how much joy was awaiting me on this journey.

I am humbled by this miracle growing inside of me. I hope and pray everyday that this baby is a fighter, that he or she will grow big & strong, that my body gives this baby what it needs to thrive, that this will finally be our happy ending...

I feel like a new person & I like this woman very much!

29 comments:

Whitney said...

Beautiful post for your 100th. You are so right so enjoy every minute of it! Congratulations again!!

jill said...

I recently found your blog and I just wanted to say Congratulations! :)

Carrie said...

Happy 100th! I am so happy that you are enjoying each moment. You are inspiring! I love knowing that I am never really alone now, with the little hearts beating... isn't it wonderful?

So happy that you are smiling all day. You deserve every moment. :)

Hugs!
Carrie

S said...

Happy 100th post!

I am happy for you and hope that your happiness continues over a healthy and uneventful pregnancy.

Nicole said...

What a great post and it has been so much fun to follow your journey with you--only because it gives me hope and a smile!

Can't wait to read the next 100!

Meant to be a mom said...

such a sweet post. I'm so happy for you and this great time in your life. Its beautiful your right.
Happy 100th post by the way. Thats allot!

My open roads said...

So very happy for you! Your feelings remind me so clearly how I felt some 30+ weeks ago, when we first found out about our pregnancy, what an amazing time. The whole pregnancy is definitely a time to enjoy, with so much still in front of you, keep your hope and happiness up! Keeping my fingers crossed for you and your growing family!

Barefoot said...

Happy 100th, and what a lovely post! I'm so happy for you and am inspired by your positivity.

hopeful #1 said...

I got chills reading this post... I love it!

Ashley said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS POST!! Happy 100th!!!

Anonymous said...

And you've got me crying! I have followed your blog since...perhaps summer or fall and I have rooted you on. I am delurking to say not only how thrilled I am for you, but to also say how your beautiful post moved me to tears. I am an IVF mom too...many years and many procedures to get to parenthood. I remember the elation of finally, finally being pregnant. I am THRILLED that you are savoring every second even now. Wishing you and your baby all the best--so very happy for you and your husband AND your family and friends who have rooted you on and now share in your joy as well!

All the best,
Courtney

meinsideout said...

amazing post, i am so happy for you and it is totally inspiring

sweetpeanme said...

Your joy is infectious...what a wonderful gift for your 100th post!!!

MissMVK said...

I am so happy for you and your miracle. Congrats on your 100th post!

M. said...

Happy 100th post -- and what an awesome subject! I can't believe the baby's heart is beating already. What a blessing!

Kris said...

I found your blog in the last couple of weeks. Congrats! Enjoy every moment...you deserve it!! :)

Allison said...

Found your blog and it has been great to follow your story!!! I am so excited for you and cant wait to hear more about your little one! Oh and BY THE WAY... You have to come up with a new blog name now bc.... You ARE expecting! :) YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

Lorza said...

Isn't it amazing that the heart beats SO EARLY!??!?! Insane. So totally awe-some.

I am happy for you, and glad you are doing good. I just can't wait for Christmas!!

RMCarter said...

This post just made me cry. I am filled with so much happiness and joy for you. Your story inspires so much hope. Happy 100th!

Leslie Laine said...

Hey Emily - Congrats on your 100th post. I love your commitment to enjoying every day, every moment of this. I love reading your blog these days - really helps me keep things in perspective.

I'm so excited for us both!

Jill said...

Happy 100th anniversary! I love that you are enjoying every single moment. Each of them are truly to be cherished!

Late reading your beta #2 post below, but it's so sweet that Sean is treating you so well! That's good. Making mental note to tell Steve this too (he has to be reminded daily).

Clio said...

Emily dearest!! I am so behind on the blogging world that I wasn't aware of this astounding superb fantastic great news!!!
I am so freaking happy for you girl!!!
I'm smiling from ear to year, my fingers are tapping happily on the keyboard. Please get a huge virtual hug from me! wow. This is good. such good news. :)
Congrats also on your 100th post. And what a way to celebrate it: with your baby's heartbeat!
hugs hugs hugs!

Bee said...

I am so very happy for you and trying to take lessons from you too;)

Maria (MKC101103) said...

YYYYEEEAAAAHHH!!!! I am so unbelievably happy for you!!!!!!!!!

Where's my miracle? said...

You are so sweet and I can just tell that you are a beautiful person. You are going to make a great mom. I am so happy for you. I hope this pregnancy continues to thrive and you enjoy every single second of it. Bless you!!!!

Mary said...

I wish I could bottle your happiness and carry it with me always:)

Mo and Will said...

emily

so very happy for you : )

beautiful post.

Just Another Infertile said...

What a wonderful 100th post you get to write! I am so happy for you and Sean. I love the attitude you have regarding your pregnancy. I wish I could focus on the positive a little more. Enjoy it all Emily. You deserve it.

*TTC*Chick* said...

I am so happy for you. :) I hope that by my 100th post I can have the same good news to share. :) God bless and stickyglue to you!

*TTC*Chick*